When I started this blog in 2017, it felt something like a calling. I had been discussing with myself among trusted associates for over a year. Weighing out the pros and the cons of actually going through with it was probably the most difficult part. In the end, I threw the entire list away because the cons seemed to very heavily outweigh the pros given the villainization of erotic empowerment in today’s society. I couldn’t ignore the tugging at my soul; my intuition leading me on a journey deep within mySelf and away from the ways of the world.
While it seems to be all about sex, sexuality, erotic expression, and sexual freedom, this journey has been deeply spiritual in the way it has unfolded before me. I have been led without ever first having any leads. I have found myself leaning heavily into my own intuitive ability, building the trust and the courage to walk this path with confidence and certainty even as things are still so very uncertain. I’ve spent so much time alone, listening to know what my own voice sounds like because I had been listening to the voice of others for so long. It was difficult to distinguish which was my own.
And even as I relish is the sweet sound of my own voice, as I smile from a place of knowing and pure joy in that knowingness and the freedom to be all that I Am, I am still fighting. Trusting in my intuition, my intuitive abilities, my magick is new. It’s fragile and I am still learning to protect it because it has taken a lot to get here. And it is so easy for others to feel a way towards that which I have created for myself: envy, anger, skepticism, entitlement, and even violence. Being vigilant is exhausting and my desire for community has become a necessity. In fact, it has always been a necessity. I just haven’t found what I need…yet. I’m so far ahead (take that however you feel) and I don’t have the energy to convince folks of the work I’ve done and why I’m right about what is best for me despite whether others believe such is possible.
So just in case you are one of such people, let me say this… Stop discouraging people in the name of trying to advise them about shit you have no clue about especially when it comes to them believing in and following their own intuition when you have done no such work to cultivate yours and have no clue what your intuition looks or sounds like because you’re still drinking that high fructose corn syrup kool-aid. Your advice ain’t shit.
I know my next step and backwards isn’t it. I’ve come entirely too far not to go farther, deeper. The world is waking up to their own journey of self-love; I was there in 2012. The world is now waking up to their own journey of sexual freedom; I was there in 2015. Now, I am in an entirely new space of being and feeling connected in a way that I’ve not experienced before and wanting to explore this connectedness that is only within mySelf.
Recently, I was growing frustrated of being around ppl constantly questioning and attempting to invalidate my experience. Of course I’m tuning all that shit out and also, this is new so I haven’t quite mastered the art of tuning folks out…in fact, I’m just now learning to tune out the folks who indeed have my best interest at heart, they just refuse to acknowledge that they have no clue what my best interests are and “my best interest” from their perspective is a result of their own personal fears, skepticisms, and lack of belief in themselves.
Any who, I’m ready to take this journey another level deeper. I’m ready to journey into the untouched parts of myself. Like I said this journey is spiritual for me and I’m ready to meet my spiritual teacher. I feel like they are close. This journey is incredibly inspirational and I am very thankful for that part. I am grateful to those who witness, read, watch, enjoy and appreciate my work. I am even more thankful to those who find the courage to reach out even when I don’t always respond. It’s not you, it’s me.
I’m ready to discover more about who I am. I’m ready to share and discuss who that is. I am ready to explore all of the essence of my spiritual beingness and this unbound connection to this sensual gift that is all ME.