A Weekend with my siSTAR

Have you ever met someone who had been a total stranger and felt something brilliant and beautiful resonating from within them? So much that you allowed or invited this person to stay awhile in your home without knowing much about them at all? Most people probably haven’t outside of some exchange or couch surfer’s program because we live in such a state of fear and skepticism. Well, this is certainly not the case for me.

My friends think I’m crazy, however I have accepted these acts as a part of my evolution. Regardless of how it turns out, I trust the Universe.

Most recently, I had the honor of spending an extended weekend with my siSTAR, Gabrielle. I don’t think I’ve ever met a more kindred spirit in my entire life, and that is not to be taken lightly. Upon further exploration, it was not difficult to see why.

Two women from two different regions of the country; she from the north and I from the south…

You wanna fuck them up for real. Do you and be happy. That's gonna really fuck them up.

We are both sexually liberated, melanated women of the same generation with common sexual experiences. Not only because we’re women, but because we are attractive, women of color. However, there is even more to it than that…

You see, Gabii is a Taurus and I am a Capricorn which are both earth sun signs. But wait, that’s not all…I am a life path 6 and Gabii is a life path 9 which are complementary life path numbers.

Compare the qualities of each for yourself:

Life Path 6: Family-oriented, romantic, responsible, artistically creative, supportive, devoted, loving, sensible.

Life Path 9: Humanitarian, compassionate, magnetic, charitable, romantic, creative, generous, idealistic.

Now, if that doesn’t just say it all, here is the kicker. Check out the similarities in our birth charts!

We both have a very similar “missing slice” in our birth charts.

Gabii Birth Chart

Spending this time with my sister was such an empowering black girl magic experience. It was the  first time I have ever been able to sit with someone who enjoys almost ALL of the same things I enjoy. The laughter, the knowledge, the wisdom, the high energy vibes being shared in those moments is infinite. There was a very natural symbiosis between the two of us and by the end of the weekend I was not ready to kick her out the way I usually am with folks. I was kinda sad that it had to end even after we decided to stretch it one more day.

It’s like we’ve always known one another. Totally new for me.

“When people hurt people, hurt people hurt people.”

As we shared seemingly endless stories and conversation about our black sexuality, we recognized so many parallels in the things we were taught about ourselves as black women: Having similar first time slut shaming experiences from within our family rather than outside of it; watching the male role models in our lives belittle and berate women even when they did not treat us the same way; being able to identify with the icky feeling of sexual coercion; and rarely, if ever, having open conversations about sex.

She is the first black woman with whom I have had a guiltless, shameless, completely open conversation of depth about sexuality, spirituality, and sexual pleasure as they interrelate, and be taken seriously on my stance to be very open and sexually free. Most black women I’ve engaged with give the energy and inference that such a thing is unrealistic without bounds. Meeting her, made me see that this is absolutely not true. I mean, I knew it wasn’t.

We are two, Moor women who have emerged from all of the closests…LOL. The spiritual closet of renouncing a religion that does not serve our beingness; The sexuality closet of the heteromonogamous-normative; The closet of shame into sexually liberated Goddesses. It’s partly due to our generational Pluto in Scorpio. Great sexual activity in the most uncommon ways.

We are both persistent and resilient in the pursuit of ourselves. Self-evolution is everything to women like us. And I know there are more of us…

Be in the Business of healing yourself Gabii

While here with me, Gabii spoke so much wisdom and so much light; sparked so many ideas and dropped so many gems. The most amazing part is that all of it…every single thing she spoke resonated with me. I found myself completing her sentences and her mine in which we’d shake our heads simultaneously in silent agreement. Her general theme was live and let live; freedom of choice; and love them anyway. All the things I have ever stood for. I have seriously never had that happen before. I was speaking with the Goddess Herself and as I looked upon her, I saw only myself. Myself reflected in another form.

We’ve had similar trials and transitions as mothers emerging from broken relationships and having someone hit the reset button in the middle of her life. We even had similar methods of growing through those situations; writing, spoken word, and outward creative expression. We each are at this place of stepping into our purpose even without precise clarity.

In the realm of spiritual gifts, we are both clairsentient, both empaths, and both clairaudient. She is amazingly intuitive even more so than I consider myself to be, and friends often tell me how intrinsically intuitive I am, calling on me for guidance and advice. Gabii is a reader.

As a mother, I could hear the fearlessness in her words; the way she constructed her sentences. Because when you change the position of the words, you inevitably change the meaning of the language.

“You are enough. You will never be enough to some who is not healed.”

On the eve and evening of the full moon we did manifestation rituals. We brought forth offerings to the Goddess. We played the singing bowl, smudged, and wrote with fervor the things we desired to manifest on our journey. I did not realize how much energy I poured into the ritual until the next morning when I ended up sleeping in for like two hours.

It was an incredibly beautiful experience and I cannot wait to do it again. Love you Gabii!

Follow Gabbi on Instagram @thee.g.spot

 


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The Myth of the Slut

Long ago when matriarchy ruled as patriarchy does today, men competed for the affection, attention, and approval of women. Women were worshiped and the Goddess ruled the heavens. Women had reign to choose any man they desired to fulfill their most imaginative fantasies. The most physically and sexually capable of the bunch were always top choice.

Men had no power

Men had to justify their existence, for they had very little importance beyond their ability to fertilize female eggs and move heavy objects. They were very much like worker ants and bees. They did the heavy physical labor, and made sure that children were produced and protected. (Walsch, 41)

Women would hold lavish ceremonies. They danced, chanted, ate, drank, and sat in prayer and meditation to bestow gratitude upon the Goddess for her love and abundance. During these ceremonies, each woman would spend time have sex with various men she felt an attraction to in order to select a suitable well-endowed, handsome, and physically capable strong mate who would bring her great pleasure and healthy children. The women would dress in almost nothing to seduce the men, who proudly walked about naked and erect, and observed how they measured up.

These ceremonies would last from the fall of the full moon until the rise of the new. Women participated in duos, trios, and group experiences of multiple orgasmic pleasure. Their climaxes could be heard for miles. The women even indulged in bringing one another pleasure while others watched on. Sex during this time was not a private act nor was it an objective act. These acts were the purest expression of boundless, authentic love. To do it openly and often was to pay homage to the Goddess.

Several offspring were born of these rituals with no concern of whom the father might be. All the men participated equally in the protection and rearing of the children. It was an amazing celebration of sexual pleasure and spiritual connection as they worshiped the Goddess of the Yoniverse.

It was indulgently wonderful, except everyone did not get to enjoy these ceremonies. Only the strongest, most handsome, empathetic, and intelligent of the men were invited.

Sex positive and body positive blog, Subscribe to PrettyPinkLotusBud.org for a refreshing perspective on sex, relationships, and spirituality. Tearing down social constructs one patriarchal perspective at a time.

Overthrown

Unfortunately, not all men measured up. These men became bitter and resentful. They began plotting to reverse the roles. After centuries, of playing the subservient role of meat suppliers, the men finally convinced the women to give them more power, but those men became greedy. They began to spread rumors of the Goddess having given birth to an evil son (later known as the devil) who planned to overthrow the spiritual kingdom and the male God was brought forth for protection.

As time passed, the rumors began to grow. The Goddess pledged her loyalty to God, forsaking all others. Women began to follow Her example as it was their ultimate desire to be all that the Goddess was. Many women knew this was a trick and continued to follow the original ways of the Goddess. The men could not let this happen. They could not allow the women to realize their divine essence and reclaim their power over men. Fearing the loss of their own power, the men turned to social manipulation. Women who refused to pledge their loyalty to one man, acting out in rebellion, were shamed into conformity. Thus, the slut came into being. The Goddess soon disappeared from worship altogether.

Myth and Magic

Women were socially ostracized and physically punished for being with more than one man. Social constructs were invented to define virginity (the hymen story). Sex in exchange for goods and services, once seen as a lavishly, prestigious role performed by the most seductive women, was given derogatory labels (whore and prostitution) and declared illegal. Women’s breasts were regarded as obscene. Female genitalia and pregnancy out of wedlock became a source of cultural shame. Social suppression of sexual desires turned into self-suppression of sexual desires; All invented to control women’s sexuality and prevent their reemergence to magnificence alongside the Goddess.

So you see, the slut is a myth, no more real than Sasquatch or the Loch Ness monster. Although, like Sasquatch and the Loch Ness monster, some people still believe she exists. Slut is a shameful label given to magical women, the boldest and the bravest of us all. In truth, slut is the essence of a woman rekindling her spiritual beingness as a sexual goddess; doing her due diligence to unlock the treasures of her deepest desires rendering her worthy of becoming one with the true Goddess once more. The one labeled slut is a woman who recognizes her freedom to pursue her sexual potential and all the wonderful pleasure it brings.

Sluts are like Unicorns; although they do not exist, they represent something quite rare and truly magical.

 

References
Nagoski, Emily. Come As You Are: The Surprising New Science That Will Transform Your Sex Life. Simon & Schuster Paperbacks, 2015.

Walsch, Neale Donald. Conversations with God: An uncommon dialogue book 3. Hampton Roads Publishing Company, 1998.

Artist Feature:

Try Me Once” by Artist: Joel Dietz, TouchMeDeeply 

To learn more about our featured artist and his work visit, Touchmedeeply.com. If there is a specific piece you’d like, please contact via email: deeplytouchme@ gmail.com to purchase art prints and more.

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Creating the Sexually Liberated Woman

I remember my mother telling me a story of her first experiences as a parent. So vividly, I recall the one where I was playing in the bathtub as a toddler when I discovered my vulva. According to my mother, I was intrigued. I poked, prodded, and pulled at it. I even invited her to come see the new treasure I had discovered. Concerned, my mother asked my pediatrician if this was normal behavior. My pediatrician responded, “Perfectly, so.” And with that, my mother left me to my journey of self-exploration. My fascination with my feminine anatomy has yet to end.

I learned to please myself long before anyone else had the opportunity. Way back then, masturbation was not a sexual experience for me. At least, I did not see it that way. In sexuality, as with all other things, perception is the reality. Back then, I’d lie in the darkness, place my hands between my opened legs and gently massage my clitoris until my entire body would quake in pleasure. I’d feel so relaxed and fall quickly asleep. I use it for this very same purpose even today yet, it has served as climactic role in exploring the full range of my sexuality.

While researching and contemplating whether or not I would even launch PPLB, I did at least fifty Google searches on various phrases relating to female sexuality. I came across one post in particular on the blog SexLoveLiberation.com where its author, Ev’Yan Whitney, explores 14 Qualities of the Sexually Liberated Woman. I love that post so much. In fact, I love her entire blog, and I encourage you to visit. I also discovered an interesting piece on Female Sexuality, “How I became a sexually liberated woman” by author Wendy Lustworthy.

I, on the other hand, am more interested in exploring how the sexually liberated woman comes to be; how the sexually liberated woman is created. Is she in the words of the famous Lady GaGa song “born this way” or is she in some way, carefully cultivated?

Tweet: Is the sexually liberated woman born this way or is she created? https://ctt.ec/z4cIf+ @pinklotusbud

Tweet: Is the sexually liberated woman born this way or is she created? https://ctt.ec/z4cIf+ @pinklotusbud

 

As long as I’ve known my sexual self, inhibition has been almost nonexistent. Perhaps this can be attributed to my mother allowing me to explore myself without ridicule or judgment. I grew up in a small town filled with religious folk so in spite of my lack of inhibition, I was very, very cautious. In retrospect, I couldn’t really verbalize it but I knew exactly the type of person I wanted in my life and that has brought me deep intimacy with people who love, respect, and support me. That does not mean that I have not been without some choices that have resulted in epic failure.

Unlike the stories I have read about other women, I did not think sex was wrong in any context. I did not feel guilty about the desire to express myself sexually nor was sex this awful, non-orgasmic experience lacking in psychological stimulation. Not at all. From the earliest moments of my sexual debut, although a bit insecure about the act itself, I was open, comfortable, and confident in who I was and what I desired. I was fortunate to share my experience with individuals who were excited about my openness and eager to assist me in exploring my sexuality at all depths and detours.

Sex positive and body positive blog, Subscribe to PrettyPinkLotusBud.org for a refreshing perspective on sex, relationships, and spirituality. Tearing down social constructs one patriarchal perspective at a time.

There may be no road map to how one becomes a sexually liberated woman however, there are several parallels in the experiences of sexually liberated women. Those include:

  • Self-Love in its psychological and physical form
  • Being open and confident
  • Granting yourself permission to explore your sexuality
  • Having a genuine, separate interest in sex and love
  • Communicating your desires clearly
  • Having the courage to be sex positive and stand for open sexual expression

The journey of exploring my sexuality has been overflowing with the most amazing thrills and pleasures that every woman should experience before ascending. I’ve only been hesitant on whether I would share these experiences. Although I am a woman who has actively sought out my desires in the sexual arena, I still hold many of the concerns that most women hold. The concerns of being slut shamed, disrespected, or feeling devalued. Favorably, I have had the support and encouragement of those I am closest with and know me as the beautiful, intelligent, empathetic, open, loving, smart, amazing, maternal, sensual spirit that I am.

“Hypnotize”

The piece featured above has been created by artist Jessica Ryan Walker. To learn more about Jessica Ryan be sure to visit her website, admire, and purchase her beautiful art.

 jessicaryanwalker

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