Slut with Standards
Empowerment,  Feminine Sexuality,  IG,  Relationships,  Sex and Society

Sluts have standards, too

This is something I’ve wanted to talk about for some time now. First off, I’m such a fan of the slut movement, however I must confess I am not a fan of the word itself.

It’s not a word that I would choose for myself, but for the purpose of this post I’ll allow it.

Quality over Quantity

I’ve always done relationships different; rebelling against what is socially acceptable particularly in the south. Quality over quantity is my thing combined with one of my grandfather’s favorite sayings, “There’s more than one way to skin a cat,” which basically translates to there being more than just the socially accepted way to do a relationship.

Duh! Who even said that’s a good way to do relationships anyway cuz in my mind it’s not. It just doesn’t work for my personality or my personal relationship goals. I ain’t never been scared to kiss a few frogs. In fact, I enjoy it.

Lying on the bed with locs

For me, time has never been a factor in judging the quality of my relationship and whether or not I would move forward with or stay in a relationship.

“But I just met them” has never been a factor in my decision to take the next step in whatever way I choose with a person whom I’m attracted to. However it turns out is how it turns out 🤷🏾‍♀️

“We’ve been together for ump-teen years” has never made sense to me as a part of the explanation of why one would remain in a relationship that is no longer serving them 🤦🏾‍♀️

Steve Harvey’s whole 90 day plan would definitely be a no go for me. I just operate on a different frequency altogether and an operation secure the ring (or bag 💰) has never been part of my personal policy.

Read ’em and Weep

I read energy to the point that I can damn near tell what a person is thinking and since I’ve leaned more into this gift it has become more accurate. The point is, my ability to read you, write you, and make my own decisions about the outcome is not a matter of time.

Neither am I attached to the outcome which seems to be an issue for many individuals when navigating the potential for a new relationship

High Priestest Tarot

Your rules do not apply to me. Sorry, not sorry! I don’t do relationship politics. In the words of Gucci Mane, “And if you never call me, I’ll be rich regardless.”

My ability to read energy has yet to fail me. I trust myself more than I do the ways of this world. And if I’m getting “fuck him, now” vibes, that’s WTF I’m gone do with appropriate consent. Fear is a nonfactor.

A friend once told me that I cannot expect romance in a one night stand. I laughed and laughed because that’s about the only expectation that I do have or else I’m not interested in being involved because I DO have a choice.

Over it

I’m so tired of people believing that because of the “free” lifestyle I live as a woman that I do not or cannot possess standards.

I’m annoyed with the, “Damn, already,” response when it comes to the time lapse between when I meet and when I have sex with someone.

I’m over people believing that just because I open myself to one person in a way that is viewed as “easy” it automatically applies to them, anyone, or everyone. That makes no earthly sense to me whatsoever, yet I constantly find myself having to remind folks to come correct. I have zero tolerance for disrespect and anyone’s assumptions about who I am as a woman.

Redvelvet Teddy

So what if I stay the night with someone I just met. This is no indication of my standards or lack thereof. This is no indication of how the relationship might turn out. This is certainly no inclination of romantic potential.

If anything at all,  it speaks to the connection I feel to the person I’m attracted to, deeper than physical.

I must admit that there are some benefits to this boxed in way of thinking, though. It makes the process of elimination so much easier. Open minds open legs. #factz


I might be a classified slut by social standards, but you can bet your ass I gots grade A no nonsense standards. I create the experience I desire regardless of the circumstances albeit long term relationship, friends with benefits, one night stands, or casual encounters.

I assure you, hoes can be house wives and sluts have standards, too 😝.

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I am an advocate for every womxn who has ever been hoe-bashed or slut-shamed into believing there was something she needed to do or be in order to acquire the love and respect she deserves. Sexually Empowered, Millennial Mom. ProHeaux Sex Witch. Intuitive Empath. Sex Writer + Orgasm Advocate + Community Healer.


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