Ever since I started my blog I’ve been contemplating doing a few sex toy reviews. Mostly for pleasure which is why I’ve wanted to tell this story for a while.
I got my first dildo as a teenager in high school. Yeah, funny story actually. My 18 year old boyfriend bought it for me as a gift. When he gave it to me I was like, “Oh,” but on the inside I was more like “What the fuck is this?” By now he had spent enough time with me to be able to read me. He saw the look on my face and immediately begin explaining what it was for and how it was used which I kinda knew, but I was still like why are you bringing me this when I have your dick at my disposal. 😈
It was pink and curved and jellied (yes unfortunately); those dreadfully toxic, jelly dildos. I didn’t know then what I know now about toxic toys.
It had a built-in vibrator with different pulses and speeds. We used it together once and I did not enjoy that at all, but I kept it to use when I was alone. I did not put it back into my vagina though and only used it as a clitoral vibrator. Mostly this was because I don’t really like toys that penetrate, even present-day so there goes that. I’m hoping to find a toy that will change that.
Remember when the rabbit was real popular
My mom usually kept a single dildo on deck. Her favorite was the Rabbit with the pearls that swirled around the dildo part that had the bullet vibrator with the rabbit sleeve to stimulate the clitoris. Y’all know what I’m talking about.
She usually kept it tucked away in the bottom drawer in her room. I know this because I am the one that usually put away her clothes. My mom would often sleep out on the couch; she just thought it was more comfortable. One day in particular my boyfriend and I decided to clean up as a surprise for her when she returned home.
He reached between the cushions of the sofa, grabbed some mysterious object and pulled it out only to discover that it was my mother’s dildo. I died of laughter. However he did not find it funny AT ALL. He made this face like he wanted to throw up, And he was absolutely done cleaning for the rest of the day. 🤣🤣🤣 I still laugh so hard when I tell this story.
So this is not necessarily my personal experience with sex toys but it is certainly a hilarious story. Don’t you think so. 😂
Eggs aren’t just for the easter bunny
In my next experience, I find myself sitting in the dorm room of a college peer enjoying this magical, first time experience of simultaneous masturbation. She introduces me to a double, silver egg bullet vibrator; “One for you and one for me,” she says to me. Like I may have mentioned before, I’m an all hands on deck type of chick so at this point I’ve had very limited personal experience with clitoral stimulating toys or toys at all for that matter.
We both lie in bed beside each other moaning to the feels of our pleasure and the sound of one another’s pleasure. If you have never had an orgasm via what I like to call side-by-side masturbation you are missing out on one of life’s GREATEST ADVENTURES.
From then on, I kept bullets for masturbation. You can read my masturbation story, too.
Yes, I was a Passion Parties consultant….briefly
Fast forward to after the birth of my first child, I became a Passion Parties consultant. I do not believe they exist any longer and have been taken over by Pure Romance. That experience was largely uneventful except that during that period I got to try out a lot of different toys.
Bullets and vibrators and waterproof vibrators, G-spot simulators and yeah. All that good stuff.
At this stage of my life, I was not very comfortable openly discussing sex and pleasure with strangers. So I wasn’t a great sex toy saleswoman. There was still a lot of shame surrounding sex especially because there was now physical proof that I had engaged in the act. As crazy as that might sound, it’s true.
Present day Victoria’s Vulva
Present day I own one large pink suction cup silicone dildo that I purchased at Wood Hull last year, a purple Calexotics vibrating dildo that has died so many times that I refuse to purchase any more batteries which brings me to my most recent toy purchase, a rechargeable Nu Sensuelle bullet. My very first rechargeable sex toy but oh no, it won’t be my last.
When I started this blog I was excited for the opportunity to review sex toys. I am not so easy to please when it comes to this toy thing. I am definitely a hard sale. I have to be convinced. I really don’t have too much experience in the area of sex toys, because a)they don’t appeal to me and b)I don’t understand what all the hype is about. I would really like that to change.
Can a toy actually bring me as much pleasure as the real thing?