This is actually the title of one of the workshops (Mirrors, Magic, and Masturbation) at Sex Down South Conference. I didn’t attend that workshop but I liked the title so I decided to use for this post.
When I was primary school-age, my grandparents had a mirror mounted in the kitchen. Every evening I’d get to the table before all my cousins so I could sit and glance intermittently at my reflection as I ate dinner. This seat also happened to be at the head of the table.
I don’t recall how long I did this before my great-grandmother banned me from this seat and told me that I was “stuck on myself”. There was truth in that. I see that now. Back then, I was obsessed with mirrors; very little has changed.
I used mirrors to look at all parts of my body and not just my face. In the evenings, my grandmother would complain about how long I was taking in the bathroom. If you guessed it was because I was busy ‘looking up my ass’ as my grandmother called it, you’re absolutely right.
In school, I was always the girl you could ask for a mirror. I’d carry around those round compact mirrors that I never paid for…mirrors seemed to find me everywhere. There’s more to it than that though. I was manifesting MIRRORS.
When I was in college, I hung multiple mirrors in my dorm room. It was the first thing people noticed when they walked in. My first apartment had mirrors as the closet doors and I still bought more mirrors.
I once visited a friend in high school and there were mirrors everywhere in her house. She said, “Yeah, my mom loves mirrors.” And I thought, “When I get a place, I’m going to do this in my place.” I did.
My great-grandmother was right. I was certainly stuck on my-Self.
Mirrors are portals to magical realms. I knew that even before I knew that. Often times I’d stare into the mirror with intention…unaware of what those intentions were…didn’t make them any less powerful. I was manifesting beautiful thoughts of myself and didn’t even realize it.
I am a Master Manifestor.
As an adolescent, I’d sit on the bed with the soles of my feet together, prop a mirror there, and begin to open the floral folds of my pussy, exploring mySelf as I stare in amazement at the reflection.
Even then I knew my pussy was magical.
There was nothing sexual about that touch. There were simply the thoughts, “This is so fucking cool; Is this really mine? I wonder what it can do.”
I’d been touching myself for years. To see and touch me and watch me as I touch me was an entirely new level of elevation. I was manifesting PLEASURE. I have had quite an abundance of that and to be totally honest, it’s one of those things I live for….Its one of those “if I could have that one more time before I die” type of things.
Earlier I told you that mirrors are portals to magical realms…as are pussies. Do you see where I’m going here? It’s totally ok if you don’t. Because you know I’m going to continue my story either way.
Even from a teenager, I have had an amazingly pleasant, pleasure-filled journey with my many partners. And as I listen to so much of the traumas that my sisters have been through in their sexual journeys (that I can absolutely relate to) I am so thankful for the beautiful perspective of my own journey. No doubt this message came from mySelf. I was manifesting this EXPERIENCE.
I hadn’t realized.
I was 28 years old experiencing a divorce when I began to recognize I was manifesting my DESIRES…not me though…mySelf.
Also, I and mySelf are not separate. One is just subconscious and therefore woke as fuck. They teach you that the subconscious is asleep; declare that it is awake. Know that the subconscious is awake and playing a vital role in your being-ness even as you may be unaware. So don’t worry, you’ll always be exactly where you’re supposed to be.
Lots of people were sure the divorce was all my ex husband’s fault. After all he was the one having extra-marital affairs, being disrespectful, and violent. Shortly there after the separation, I met a person that I fell in love with instantly. I knew I had been the one to cause this experience.
While talking to a friend of mine, I confessed that I had not been happy in my marriage and that I’d just been pretending to save face. Truth…I pined for love and pleasure, something I always had, had suddenly been gone with two simple words, “I do.”
When I was married, my thoughts would often start like this, “Once this is over…” Sad, I know.
It was here that I recognized my MAGIC.
I broke free so that I could discover that love and pleasure I’ve become so attached to. Once I recognized my power, I begin imagining all of the things I could possibly manifest. It was everything I needed to focus and practice.
Manifesting through mirrors and masturbation is a regular practice for me. It is indeed a magical journey. My practice is insatiably sensual and intelligently intimate. MySelf knows me better than I could ever know mySelf. It is here in the climax of my self-induced orgasm that I relinquish all that I Am to mySelf. To gain control, you must indeed let go.
Today, I have this special mirror…it’s heavy. It reminds me of the mirror over the kitchen table at my granny’s house. The frame is gold. I prop it against the wall in the hallway of my place as I lean against the opposite wall. I watch myself touching myself and sometimes I record myself watching myself touching myself as I rock back and forth manifesting through mirrors, magic, and masturbation.
Making magic with Mirrors and Masturbation
Yes, the mirror matters. Not as much as you do. Special mirrors have special effects and special may vary. The more sentiment you attach to the mirror, the more powerful it becomes. This becomes even more powerful when there is not physical attachment to the mirror. That way the object does not have power over you…see…let go.
I’m a bit frugal. I am also nostalgic. The mirror I use reminds me of my childhood and I thrifted it. Now, that is special to me.
I’m not going to tell you to strip naked and start playing with your pussy. You might not be there yet. Start slow…if you need to…and if you’re unsure, ask your-Self and trust that answer.
Sit in front of the mirror everyday with all your clothes on, perhaps a favorite outfit, that may help you feel beautiful or sensual and simply ask yourSelf, “Who am I?” Do that everyday until you are comfortable removing some of your clothing. Touch your exposed skin. Watch yourself touching yourself. Pay attention to the thoughts that populate your mind. Decide if you’d like to change those thoughts. Note whether you love those thoughts.
Do this everyday, removing more and more clothing each day asking yourself only one question, “Who am I?” Don’t answer it though. The answer is already there. Keep a journal of your thoughts, feelings, and changes each day.
Dance in your mirror. Have a conversation with yourself…speak objectively about what you see, speak sensually about what you see, speak candidly about what you see, speak kindly about what you see…love on yourself. Make this experience unique to you.
Here are some things I say to myself:
You so fine.
I’m so fly.
You are so amazing.
I love mySelf.
When you’re ready, cultivate the space you need to allow your fingers to explore nonsexually…If it turns sexual wonderful….if it doesn’t just as well.
When you’re ready.