You will find the word sex toy a lot in this post since it is indeed about sex toys. In the finale of the summer 100, you will find that I have linked the words “sex toy(s)” to several awesome sex toy stories and reviews so that you can discover the world of sex toys from a variety of perspectives! 🤗
What is the purpose of sex toys anyway?
Are they for…
B) pleasure or
C) a replacement for actual intercourse
This past May my child-free friend, Christy invited all of her friends with children over to her home for a nice little barbecue and pool party. 🏊
As we gathered for drinks and conversation, I told the ladies a little bit about who I am and what I do as a sex blogger. I gave them each a copy of my business card and of course, my women’s orgasms matter button and we started in on a conversation about sex toys.
“I have one,” one of the ladies shared. “I’ve been using it a lot since I’ve been single.”
“I don’t need a sex toy,” another one said. “I need the real thing.”
“Sex toys are cool; I have a few, but I have a man now though so I haven’t used them in awhile.” the last one shared.
“Well, Vikki can certainly tell you anything you need to know about sex toys and her blog is so amazing 🥰,” my friend Christy chimed in.
Although, I know this isn’t totally true, the fact that I have mad resources thanks to my sex blogger posse filled with toy reviewers, I could certainly get these ladies all the information they desired.
Sex Toys & Group Think
In retrospect, I can recall many situations of both directly and indirectly associating the use of toys with being single or not having a person there to assist me in fulfilling my sexual desires. In my mind, that’s what sex toys were for.
As each of us shared our stories about our experience with sex toys, how we use them, and the purpose we see in sex toys, I begin to notice a theme and it was not unlike my own thoughts about sex toys before embarking on my blogging journey and eventually the 30-day orgasm fun challenge.
When I started my blog back in February of 2017, I had no interest in sex toys or plans of incorporating them into my sex blogging journey because of this belief. Little did I realize the Universe definitely had other plans.
This encounter cause me to question what we believe the purpose of sex toys to be and how I and other sex bloggers and individuals who use sex toys regularly could possibly change this perception. I’ll admit, I’m probably a bit easier to convince than average. After all, my motto has always been, “I’ll try anything once, twice if I like it.”
I’ve noticed that so many of us, most specifically black women, who lack experience with them believe that sex toys are replacements for actual bodies. This statement absolutely includes me.
It was during this conversation by the pool with these ladies that I realized my belief about sex toys acting as replacements for bodies had actually been a symptom of group-think.
Group-think can be this thing that happens when we believe something about people, places, things, or ideas often times without having any experience in whatever that thing is and allowing those beliefs to influence how we interact with those people, those places, or those things/ideas.
The Pleasure Advocate
I shared with these ladies that I once held their same perspective. Then I got the opportunity to dive into a world of sex, including the toys, and I quickly learned that there are so many sex toys that do so many magical things. Sex toys don’t replace bodies; they can’t! In retrospect I think to myself, what a silly thought. How did I even come up with that?
They are there in some ways to enhance bodies, to compliment bodies, and to help us explore and discover our bodies in new ways; in spiritual ways even; in ways we might not have explored our own being-ness had we not been introduced to toys. I can certainly say all of those are true for me.
As we sat at the poolside between sipping mimosas🍹 and reapplying sunblock to our children, I continued telling the ladies about rechargeable toys and some of my specific favorites including the zumio and all the satisfyers 😍. I could tell by the expression on their faces that this was all new territory for them as it had been for me.
I had no idea of the power and magic so eloquently dubbed “the wand” that could be held in the palm of one’s hand. I explained how the design and technology of sex toys has evolved to more pleasure centered roles with research to support. So much so that you might actually discover new ways to orgasm, new kinds of orgasms, and that even the same type of orgasm can feel vastly different depending on the type of sex toy you’re using.
They were all suddenly wide-eyed 👀 and intrigued. “I’m going to have to take a look into these new toys,” one of the ladies responded. Success! My work is done. I can officially add sex toy pleasure advocate to my resume. 🥰✊🏿🤩
I am a total sex toy novice and I love, love, love sharing all of the new discoveries I make with my own body. So I encourage you to dive into the world of toys and see what new things you might find.