Sex Magick: An Introduction

This post is All About Sex Magic and I’m not talking Tantra here. At least I don’t believe so. However, I cannot be 100% certain, only because I’ve never actually read any Tantra myself. Although, I plan to. I’m curious as to how Tantra aligns with the things I’ve discovered for myself and my experience and experiments with Sex Magic.

Sex and spirituality are two things we don’t commonly discuss intersectionally. However, sex is very much a part of our spiritual evolution and affirming ourselves. It’s so important to affirm ourselves through unconditional self-love.

It has been said that sex magic is simple. I agree in theory; yes, however there is so much more to Sex Magic than meets the five senses.

Do you believe in magic?

What is magic? Magic is simply the way we choose to communicate our desires into the universe… Along with our faith in the manifesting of those desires. No matter who you are, no matter where you are or how you achieve this, at any given moment we are constantly communicating our desires whether it be intentional or not.

Sex is one powerful means of intentionally manifesting your desires.

I started doing sex magic during the summer of 2016. I have been practicing ritual spells, potions, and such since 2013 during an ugly custody battle for my children. As a mother with a newborn, no job, no income, and no place of my own, I knew I needed to source powers beyond my own physical capabilities. It was my nowhere else to turn leap of faith. And guess what it worked. Even my lawyer was surprised we had won. That was also because as a newbie lawyer he was making deals under the table with my ex-husband’s more season lawyer. But that’s neither here nor there. 🙄

No weapon formed against me shall prosper.

Anywho, I was hooked. Using my newly discovered abilities to manifest my desires, I kept my request short and simple. I watched them all come to pass. Then begin feasting my eyes on greater. I also wanted those greater things to happen faster.

These days, whenever I want something I get it. Especially answers to my most burning desires. Like how do I manifest my desires more promptly. The answer that came back was simple enough… Sex Magik.

Hit or Miss

And here is where things get less simple. My attempts to manifest through sex magic were hit-or-miss. Sometimes I’d be successful but most times I find myself saying this is not what I meant.

Intentions are everything whether you’re aware of those intentions or not. To be productive in any form of magic your intentions must be clear. Sex is a bit tricky in this matter due to our sex-negative conditioning. There may be certain aspects of sex, certain conditioned beliefs we hold in regards to sex that prevent us from maintaining clear intentions– blockage. Often times we aren’t aware of these blockages.

Because of this, most of us will have to do a bit of excavating before imploring sex magick to grant what we seek and exploit its grand potential. And no, I’m not there. Yet I am on this incredible journey where I have learned so much already, I feel compelled to share it with you.

Calibrate your Compass

Why is the world so imbalance? First of all creativity, desire, and pleasure all resonate in the root chakra. Your root chakra is your compass, your most basic and primitive spiritual sense pointing you in the direction of your passion. Many of us are like uncalibrated compasses which causes confusion and imbalance when it comes to manifesting your desires through any means. Because of this, being aroused does not always equate to a desire to have sex.

As you explore sex magick you will quickly learn that sex is not as primitive as people believe it to be. It is not simply a physical act of procreation and pleasure. It is a vehicle, a powerful vehicle of communication. It’s similar to sending an email versus sending snail mail and getting the same or better responses via email.

Sex is of the root chakra and it is the foundation of your Spiritual Being-ness. As we all know if your foundation is broken, it causes so many other problems in other areas. The entire structural integrity of the building has been compromised and for many of us we might very well need to rebuild from the ground up when it comes to our ideas about sex.

In other words, if you harbor a lot of the sex-negative messages that are pervasive in our society, it definitely isn’t the ideal foundation for the practical use of sex magick. It’s important to understand that some foundations require more work than others. Get to work on that foundation.

This is the time to kill confusion, to calibrate your compass, and reconstruct a new foundation through balancing your root chakra. This can happen in many ways and especially through meditative masturbation.

It’s time to touch yourself with intention and without shame. It’s time to feel (yes, I meant feel) your cup from the bottom up. Fall in love with the basic essence of your being-ness.

My child you are created through sex, imagine the things that you are capable of creating through sex.

Sex magic begins with deconstructing sex-negative conditioning and cultivating self-love.

Pretty Pink Lotus Bud for sex-positive spaces; #WomensOrgasmMatter; the sexually liberated woman, proheaux, sex magic

Enjoyed this post?
Subscribe to a sexually liberated experience

New Moon Opportunities

The new moon represents new beginnings and a fresh start. Ask anyone moderately versed in magic and they’ll tell you that the new moon is a time to set your intentions, gather your thoughts and plans, and write down your desires and wishes.

So what if you already know your desires? What if you’ve written them down over and over and over again? I know I have.

What if you don’t have plans? If you’re anything like me, often you do not. And contrary to popular belief, not having a plan can lead you on a magical journey. Just set your compass due north and the Universe will make sure you arrive safe and sound.

So what do you do if you know your heart’s truest desires but you don’t have a plan to make it happen? This my child is when you must leave it to chance. Oh yes, this is how the Universe works best. 🤗

Because of my Capricorn Aquarius cusp, I am such a grounded Spirit who adores wonder and spontaneity.

A contradiction indeed.

Do you believe in chance?

About 3 years ago I read an article where Pauley Perrette (Abby) of NCIS (a show I used to love to watch) did an interview about how she was “discovered”; a chance encounter for a chance opportunity that manifested into something exceptional for both her life and career.

You can’t plan opportunities like that! While you cannot plan such things, you certainly have within you the ability to attract them.

Here’s a simple ritual to do just that.

The first thing to remember when performing magic, the single most important ingredient to any spell or ritual are your intentions.

Gather the following items in a place you feel relaxed or more open to spiritual energy; a place you won’t be disturbed.

A single bay leaf 🌿 and a black Sharpie, a white candle, black moonstone, green aventurine stone, citronella and peppermint oil, mint seeds, a small planting pot with potting soil, and finally, powerful words of affirmation.

For this particular ritual, I’ve chosen the words lucrative, opportunity, and chance. You can use those same words or any others that suit your intentions.

As you perform this ritual, burn citronella and peppermint oil in a diffuser. Citronella oil is used to attract friends and business while peppermint oil is used to affect change.

Bay leaves represent honor, glory, and reward. On the back of your bayleaf, write down your words of affirmation.

Congratulations! 🎉You have now set your intentions.

Focus on those intentions as you plant your mint seeds. Mint has the amazing ability to grow in unfavorable conditions. Their blooming 💮 season is from June to September so spring is a perfect time to plant. It’s elemental association is air. I love this because you never know which way the wind is going to blow.

Mint can represent many things in the realm of magic, however we are going to focus on prosperity and good luck for our chance opportunity. Also, Spirit has been known to be attracted to mint 🤔. And when you are attracting chance opportunity, you need all of the Divine help you can get.

There are several things you can do with your black Moonstone and Green Aventurine. If they are small you can plant them with your seeds which is a really, really great idea. Or you can simply have them nearby.

Once all components of this ritual are complete, take the bay leaf and sleep with it underneath your pillow. On the following day burn your bayleaf my white candle🕯 and chant this spell

“With this new moon opportunities await. Abundance springing from the ideas I create.”

And voila, your ritual is complete.

Faithfully, forget the opportunities coming your way. Even after you’ve done this ritual, they’ll be totally unexpected.

Pretty Pink Lotus Bud for sex-positive spaces; #WomensOrgasmMatter; the sexually liberated woman, proheaux, sex magic

Enjoyed this post?
Subscribe to a sexually liberated experience

Pretty Pink Lotus Bud for sex-positive spaces; #WomensOrgasmMatter; the sexually liberated woman, proheaux, sex magic-a sex blog about feminine sexuality, relationships, and spirituality

A Weekend with my siSTAR

Have you ever met someone who had been a total stranger and felt something brilliant and beautiful resonating from within them? So much that you allowed or invited this person to stay awhile in your home without knowing much about them at all? Most people probably haven’t outside of some exchange or couch surfer’s program because we live in such a state of fear and skepticism. Well, this is certainly not the case for me.

My friends think I’m crazy, however I have accepted these acts as a part of my evolution. Regardless of how it turns out, I trust the Universe.

Most recently, I had the honor of spending an extended weekend with my siSTAR, Gabrielle. I don’t think I’ve ever met a more kindred spirit in my entire life, and that is not to be taken lightly. Upon further exploration, it was not difficult to see why.

Two women from two different regions of the country; she from the north and I from the south…

You wanna fuck them up for real. Do you and be happy. That's gonna really fuck them up.

We are both sexually liberated, melanated women of the same generation with common sexual experiences. Not only because we’re women, but because we are attractive, women of color. However, there is even more to it than that…

You see, Gabii is a Taurus and I am a Capricorn which are both earth sun signs. But wait, that’s not all…I am a life path 6 and Gabii is a life path 9 which are complementary life path numbers.

Compare the qualities of each for yourself:

Life Path 6: Family-oriented, romantic, responsible, artistically creative, supportive, devoted, loving, sensible.

Life Path 9: Humanitarian, compassionate, magnetic, charitable, romantic, creative, generous, idealistic.

Now, if that doesn’t just say it all, here is the kicker. Check out the similarities in our birth charts!

We both have a very similar “missing slice” in our birth charts.

Gabii Birth Chart

Spending this time with my sister was such an empowering black girl magic experience. It was the  first time I have ever been able to sit with someone who enjoys almost ALL of the same things I enjoy. The laughter, the knowledge, the wisdom, the high energy vibes being shared in those moments is infinite. There was a very natural symbiosis between the two of us and by the end of the weekend I was not ready to kick her out the way I usually am with folks. I was kinda sad that it had to end even after we decided to stretch it one more day.

It’s like we’ve always known one another. Totally new for me.

“When people hurt people, hurt people hurt people.”

As we shared seemingly endless stories and conversation about our black sexuality, we recognized so many parallels in the things we were taught about ourselves as black women: Having similar first time slut shaming experiences from within our family rather than outside of it; watching the male role models in our lives belittle and berate women even when they did not treat us the same way; being able to identify with the icky feeling of sexual coercion; and rarely, if ever, having open conversations about sex.

She is the first black woman with whom I have had a guiltless, shameless, completely open conversation of depth about sexuality, spirituality, and sexual pleasure as they interrelate, and be taken seriously on my stance to be very open and sexually free. Most black women I’ve engaged with give the energy and inference that such a thing is unrealistic without bounds. Meeting her, made me see that this is absolutely not true. I mean, I knew it wasn’t.

We are two, Moor women who have emerged from all of the closests…LOL. The spiritual closet of renouncing a religion that does not serve our beingness; The sexuality closet of the heteromonogamous-normative; The closet of shame into sexually liberated Goddesses. It’s partly due to our generational Pluto in Scorpio. Great sexual activity in the most uncommon ways.

We are both persistent and resilient in the pursuit of ourselves. Self-evolution is everything to women like us. And I know there are more of us…

Be in the Business of healing yourself Gabii

While here with me, Gabii spoke so much wisdom and so much light; sparked so many ideas and dropped so many gems. The most amazing part is that all of it…every single thing she spoke resonated with me. I found myself completing her sentences and her mine in which we’d shake our heads simultaneously in silent agreement. Her general theme was live and let live; freedom of choice; and love them anyway. All the things I have ever stood for. I have seriously never had that happen before. I was speaking with the Goddess Herself and as I looked upon her, I saw only myself. Myself reflected in another form.

We’ve had similar trials and transitions as mothers emerging from broken relationships and having someone hit the reset button in the middle of her life. We even had similar methods of growing through those situations; writing, spoken word, and outward creative expression. We each are at this place of stepping into our purpose even without precise clarity.

In the realm of spiritual gifts, we are both clairsentient, both empaths, and both clairaudient. She is amazingly intuitive even more so than I consider myself to be, and friends often tell me how intrinsically intuitive I am, calling on me for guidance and advice. Gabii is a reader.

As a mother, I could hear the fearlessness in her words; the way she constructed her sentences. Because when you change the position of the words, you inevitably change the meaning of the language.

“You are enough. You will never be enough to some who is not healed.”

On the eve and evening of the full moon we did manifestation rituals. We brought forth offerings to the Goddess. We played the singing bowl, smudged, and wrote with fervor the things we desired to manifest on our journey. I did not realize how much energy I poured into the ritual until the next morning when I ended up sleeping in for like two hours.

It was an incredibly beautiful experience and I cannot wait to do it again. Love you Gabii!

Follow Gabbi on Instagram




Pretty Pink Lotus Bud for sex-positive spaces; #WomensOrgasmMatter; the sexually liberated woman, proheaux, sex magic


Enjoyed this post?
Subscribe to a sexually liberated experience

Venus in Gemini Got Me Canceling Dick Appointments

…According to my chica, Bree, at Magically I don’t know too much about astrology charts; Suns in Capricorn and Moons in Taurus (just a little something I recently learned about my own chart). Don’t get me wrong, I’m black girl magic in more ways than melanin. I’m more of a numbers girls myself as in numerology and I know they’re probably all interrelated in some sort of way but my mind refuses to do all those things at once…

Besides, I’m in regular communication with spirit.

Whatever I need to know, spirit is gonna tell me. I don’t have to know the explanation behind it which is how all of this even started; finding an explanation for what I was feeling.

One day, seemingly out of the blue, I just began feeling detached as in aloof and objective. Guys asking me on dates and I’m like, “Nah, I’m going to sleep.” Good dick asking if he can come over and I’m like, “Nah, maybe tomorrow.” I mean honestly, this is not like me at all. I have been known to make treks for that good dick; now all of sudden I’m just turning it away left and right. Apparently, all of this is because of a Venus in Gemini.

I’m in the house and I’m 100% not interested in leaving which isn’t unusual, but whenever there’s good dick involved, I don’t usually turn away visitors. As much as I love regular doses of the vitamin “D”, even I’m looking at myself like wtf is going on with you right now besides trippin’.

“We are sociable, communicative, and interested. We can be animated and fun but may also keep our distance on an emotional level. Attractions now may begin with words, as we tend to bond more readily on a mental level with Venus in Gemini. The shadow side of Gemini is fickleness.” source Café Astrology

Fickle is a good word to describe it, too.

This version doesn’t give as much detail as what she read to me from her phone. It was an app called Celeste and according to the site it is available on both Android and iPhone. For some reason, I can’t find it in the Play Store.

In my detach-ness, I’m just not feeling it, whatever it may be. Often, a sudden mood change in myself signals an accompanying life change. I woke feeling like I needed to do something. I got dressed for cardio but decided against it. I needed to do a reading to make sure things were still on track; make sure my head is still in a good place. I decided to do a past, present, and future reading.

Needless to say just like the Goddess Tarot Reading, it was lit with pentacles. All cards right-side-up!

Dear Victoria, False alarm; put your worries to bed. Confirmation is always a beautiful thing. Following this reassuring and uplifting reading I swiped this via House of Hathor on Instagram.

Yasssss! Ok that’s all I have for y’all today. I plan to share more on my astrology chart. As I was reading it, I found it hilariously accurate, and it explains so many of the reasons I behave the way I do in relationships.

I have a Libra Rising, a Capricorn Sun, and a Taurus Moon. My zodiac is Capricorn (Aquarian Cusp). I don’t really know what that means but I’m learning…only about myself though. I am definitely one who believes in using my inner-chi work to help myself before I can help someone else (also accurately depicted in my chart). That’s just me though.

Keeping with appearances is important to me. Fake it till you make it isn’t so hot with me because if I don’t feel it, I ain’t faking it.

This is a bit of a problem for me but you know what would be even more of a problem, putting your marriage before your career. YUCK!


Sex positive & body positive blog, Subscribe for a fresh perspective on sex, relationships, & spirituality while dismantling sexual social constructs.

Did you enjoy this post?

Leave a comment below & share this post with your tribe.

Subscribe Now for the Latest Updates

Abundance Ritual and Money Potion

Not so long ago, I was very confused about my spirituality. I wasn’t sure what to believe in. I knew that I did not believe in Christianity, Buddhism, and all of the other high profile religions. I didn’t even realize that religion and spirituality, although related, were two different things. I was lost at so many depths. I had no spiritual practices, no rituals, no formed (or forming) beliefs. I’d stopped going to church because once again, I didn’t believe in any of it. I felt like I was mocking other people’s beliefs by pretending to believe. I lived inside my head a lot and wanted no part of the life I was living. In all parts, I felt stuck.

I truly thought I was lost, but in reality, it was the first step to finding myself. Now, I am here; realizing that I have always been here and gratefully so.

Faith in the Physical

I started creating healing potions while going through a yucky divorce. I’d recently lost my mom to cancer, four months later my son was born, and then four months after that, my divorce was pending. It was such a place of growth, a place of transition; a very stressful place, yes, but not dark or harsh as one would imagine. There were a lot of tears, but there was also a lot of love, encouragement, and support from people and places I never thought they’d come.

Because of everything that was going on, I had nothing…I had no place to live, no car to drive, no money, no job, no possessions. Hell, I didn’t even have my mother; the one person I knew who could help me get through anything. I had nothing but my faith which I already told you was so fickle during this part of my life. I began creating healing potions and recorded audio as a physical representation of my faith, attracting strength and confidence into my journey.

Today, I want to share with you an abundance ritual and money potion that I created during the recent full moon in the video below. You can discover more on sex magic and potions from Carly Sex Worker Witch: Magic Potions for you. Enjoy and thanks for watching.

Pretty Pink Lotus Bud now has a shop open on Etsy and this item is currently for sale. Stop in and take a look.


 I am also offering the opportunity for one lucky winner to win the prize in the photo below (cash not included).

PPLB Abundance Ritual GiveAway

The final potion is infused with the delicious scent of cinnamon and ginger. It smells absolutely yummy!

This giveaway features:

One- Green Aventurine abundance and wealth bracelet features smooth, rounded green aventurine and etched wooden beads.
One- 5ml glass spray vial containing an abundance (money) potion created on the June 9th full moon using Ruby in Kyanite, Citrine, Green Aventurine, Garnet, and Pyrite in collected rain water.

Complete your entry below (When visiting on IG, please comment the giveaway photo so I know you were there) Bueno Suete:

PPLB Abundance Ritual GiveAway

Enjoyed this post? Be sure to check out this awesome Sex Magic piece by the Tantric Witch.

Sex positive & body positive blog, Subscribe for a fresh perspective on sex, relationships, & spirituality while dismantling sexual social constructs.

Did you enjoy this post?

Leave a comment below & share this post with your tribe.

Subscribe Now for the Latest Updates

Goddess Tarot Reading

**Just want to give you a heads up. There are some affiliate links in this post.**

When I embarked on this journey at the start of February, I was a bit apprehensive, but there was so much energy surrounding it, I just knew this was something I had to do for me. The energy surrounding this journey is so strong that spirit told me to do a reading for it.

You know me and if you don’t, I can be such a procrastinator due to my fear of failure; a fear that I am conquering little by little every day. Admitting our fears can make us feel so vulnerable. I shudder at the thought of it.

Finally, I decided I would do it on the full moon, but wouldn’t you know it, I forgot. A part of me wanted to forgo it once again for the next full moon. Then spirit came to me again, as SHE often does in my times of self-doubt and naiveté, and tells me something so obvious yet so profound, “Now, is just as powerful a time as any; besides, we’re still experiencing the power of the full moon.” She stresses to me that NOW is the perfect time for this reading. Remember, spirit does not communicate in words, so whenever I talk about what spirit has told me, recognize that it is my interpretation.

I have been doing tarot for about three years. In that time, there hasn’t been any consistency at all. I usually do readings only for myself when I am uncertain about things, in order to gain clarity, or when I feel so certain about something, and I want to gain reassurance. I’d originally had my eye on the Rider tarot deck however I felt an attraction to the Goddess deck when I came across it at the Crystal Garden, a new age metaphysical store in Boynton Beach, Florida; owned by Margaret Ann Lembo. She is the author of Chakra Awakening: Transform Your Reality Using Crystals, Color, Aromatherapy & the Power of Positive Thought

This book has had such a powerful influence on my current spiritual journey.

Should you decide to purchase this book (or The Goddess Tarot Deck), I would greatly appreciate if you would do so through my affiliate link. I’ll get a small commission and as always, I will never vouch for anything I don’t have personal experience with and do not genuinely recommend. Thank you in advance!

Why was this full moon the perfect moon for this reading?

I wasn’t quite sure in that moment. However, later as I was researching to write this post, I came across this article on Collective Evolution that goes into great detail about how the full moon in Scorpio is all about acting on your passions and desires.

Scorpio is complex, deep, real, and raw. Being traditionally ruled by Mars, it is assertive, intense, sexual, and passionate. Scorpio is more concerned about merging with another, whether sexually, resourcefully, or collaboratively. Being sub-ruled by Pluto, it is a powerful and mysterious energy associated with transformation, purging, death and rebirth.

You can read more about it on their blog:

Nope, I could not have picked a more perfect full moon to do this reading even if I’d actually intended to do so.

Things being aligned as they are, merely a few hours into a waning full moon in Scorpio, I did a tarot reading on my vision for this blog and it was indeed an extremely powerful reading.

I wanted the conditions for this reading to be supremely ideal so I did a pre-ritual smudging, lit two white candles, honored my ancestral mothers, calling each one by name, and held the deck between my palms as I took a moment to channel my passion and meditate over my inquiry. The energy felt amazing.

For this reading, I did the Celtic cross pattern. According to, The Celtic Cross is probably the oldest and most popular pattern for reading the tarot. It has survived so long because the layout of the cards is simple, but powerful. A strong energy has built up around this spread due to its use by so many people over the years.

I am such a believer in relics and rituals holding strong innergy, which is why I believe highly in the power of the dream catcher. And no amount of commercialization can make that less true. Perhaps another post for another day.

If you’d like to learn more about interpreting the Celtic cross spread, learning tarot offers a simple straight forward guide. This Guide by Stefan Stenudd, Tarot Celtic Cross, offers more detailed, comprehensive info and some mentions of the history. Although I will warn you, very little is known about the origins of the Celtic cross method of reading.

Ok, ok, I’ve kept you waiting long enough. When I say the reading was amazing, I mean I had to pause several times to take it all in as I was doing it. It has been my most positive, straight forward, clear reading to date. Many warn about doing tarot for yourself however, I’m confident that those reasons do not apply to me.

The way the Goddess tarot works is you do the layout and you also choose a goddess card to be the influencing Goddess over the entire reading. I was so excited when I choose Lakshmi, Hindu goddess of fortune. In traditional decks, this one represents the wheel of fortune. She is heavily associated with the suit of Pentacles which was also very prevalent in my reading.

“Lakshmi is believed to be attracted to sparkling jewels– which are like the riches she bestows upon worshipers who have pleased her.” I won’t go into the full details of my reading just because it was quite lengthy but I will share my favorite parts. The cards that manifested in my reading are:
The Eight of Pentacles, Goddess Gwenhwyfar, Two of Pentacles, Ace of Cups, Three of Cups reversed, Seven Swords, Princess Swords, Queen Staves, Ten Swords, Princess Pentacles.

I’m sharing three cards from my reading below.

Eight of Pentacles in the 1st position: If we know anything about numerology, then we know the number eight is the number for material wealth. And once again, the pentacle suit is directly associated with the Hindu Goddess of fortune, Lakshmi. The eight of pentacle is an affirmation of talent and skills. “As she works, she loses herself in creativity’s flow; she feels blessed as she draws upon the talents give to her by the Divine Feminine.”

Ace of Cups in the 5th position. When I pulled this card from the deck, I was immediately mesmerized by it. A bright and shining full moon sitting inside a golden goblet that runneth over. I knew this card symbolizes something quite grand and truly spectacular. “Here the full moon is contained–but not captured– within golden cup surrounded by the ocean, source of all life. Engraved upon this ornate goblet are ancient symbols of the Divine Goddess.”

It goes on to point out the ancient triangle (delphos). The Ace of Cups represents the beginning of a new cycle, great happiness, creative inspiration, and receptivity.

Three of Cups, reversed in the 6th. The three of cups represents three women drinking and dancing in a circle. Each woman representing the three stages of life. Remember that thing I mentioned about procrastination earlier? Well this card is essentially warning me of overindulgence, procrastination and distracting oneself with pleasure. Oh, yes. I can clearly see how that could go when it comes to me and sex and then writing a blog about sex. Double trouble for sure.

This reading is so powerful. I receive it, claim it over all areas of my life and extend this omen of fortune to all who have the opportunity to read and interact with this blog in anyway. Special thanks to you all for sharing in this journey with me. I appreciate you.

Pretty Pink Lotus Bud for sex-positive spaces; #WomensOrgasmMatter; the sexually liberated woman, proheaux, sex magic


Did you enjoy this post?
Let me know your thoughts in the comments and share this with your tribe.

Subscribe Now for the Latest Updates

Pretty Pink Lotus Bud for sex-positive spaces; #WomensOrgasmMatter; the sexually liberated woman, proheaux, sex magic-a sex blog about feminine sexuality, relationships, and spirituality

Burning the Midnight Sage: 3 Ways to Clear Toxic Sexual Energy

The evening is my sexy time. I’m such a morning person but I cannot deny my lifelong love affair with the night. I come in from work and take care of my evening duties. I shower to rinse the day away, kindle my tea light oil diffuser, and smudge in the nude.

Ideally, my favorite time to have sex is between one and four am. I say ideally because given my current work schedule, unfortunately, it is likely that I’m long asleep at those hours.

Being both clairsentient and clairaudient, it is the time when I feel the deepest and hear the clearest. It is the time I feel most connected to my creative, sensual, and sexiest self. My thoughts roam openly with minimal interruption as all the world is quietly sleeping.

In case you missed it, I recently had my guest post cherry popped. I had the honor of writing an amazing piece on whether sex can be spiritual. In the post, I talk about toxic sexual energy. As an empath, I realize how easy it is to become inundated with emotional information whether through intercourse or other means.

I would love for you read it and let me know whether or not it resonates with you.

I wanted to share these ways that I limit, manage, and discharge toxic and excess energy that I take on throughout the day.

When it comes to my spiritual upkeep, I prefer to keep things simple. Everything has energy and because I’m still learning about myself as an empath, I still haven’t quite learned to manage these energies.

In light of this, I gather spiritual materials as needed; I keep few things on hand. For the sake of simplicity, as a rule of thumb, I follow this guide for managing, limiting, and discharging toxic sexual energy or any toxic energy for that matter.

  • Water for cleansing
  • Salt for protection
  • Sage for clearing

They can be used interchangeably and I’ll share the ways I use each.

Water for cleansing

Water is life; water is refreshing; water is rejuvenating. We are made up mostly of water.
In the early stages of my sexual debut, particularly as a college-aged young adult with open space and complete freedom to have sex with whomever I desired, how often I preferred, in whatever manner I choose, I enjoyed showering with my partner before and after intercourse. I could tell from their surprised reactions that apparently this was not a normal gesture. But of course, they didn’t turn it down.

I felt it for sure, but I didn’t know then what I know now about how those pre-sex rituals were affecting my sensual energy exchange. I don’t doubt they contributed positively to my amazing sexual journey even when I had limited knowledge about spiritual cleansing.

I’ve always been who I am even when I didn’t always do me the way that I do me now.

There are many cleansing water rituals to try; do a simple Pinterest search and you’ll discover this for yourself. I’ve looked into quite a few that I’d like to try.

In the meantime, a simple shower infused with positive, high energy and mindful intentions works amazingly. I just visualize myself rinsing away any stress and excess energy that I’ve collected throughout my day. And if you’re able to, as often as I’m able to, I love to swim in the nude; also known as skinny dipping. It completely enlivens your beingness.

I convinced my friend to go skinny dipping with me last summer. Although she’s a bit timid and reserved, even she admitted that she enjoyed the experience.

I am a huge fan of crystal charged full moon water for its healing power. Depending on what I need, I usually infuse it with oils, herbs and of course mindful intentions. I plan on sharing a recipe very soon. I usually collect rainwater for such occasions as the more natural your water source, the more potent the healing potion.

I’ve heard great things about rose water and I’m looking forward to trying this recipe I found on Pinterest very soon. I feel like you need to create a certain atmosphere when you’re making such a thing (as with all rituals, right) which is why I’ve been postponing it; timing seems off.

Salt for protection

I don’t use salt very actively but I use it daily and consistently as my Himalayan salt lamps release an aural, hypnotizing glow. I love them for meditation. Sometimes my kids unplug them and I can always tell when they do.

Salt is amazing protection against low energy sexual experiences. Low energy sexual experiences are caused by ego and not spirit. All higher being experiences are benevolent anything else is ego using energy in a negative way. So regardless of how evil or how angelic a person might seem, we all have the capacity to be the complete opposite of that within ourselves. It is all about choice and balance. Make higher choices. Regardless, spirit and ego are yin and yang in our physical form, one is nothing without the other.

I have this enchanting ability to read through ego to the innermost desires of a person’s sexual beingness and I still have some wondering how I do it. It is the power of seduction. From a sexual perspective, I love showing a person this version of themselves. Essentially, I do it by simply mirroring their “thought” energy. Another awesome empathic ability that I have often taken advantage of even when I didn’t know I was an empath. A person is much more open and unguarded in their sensual state.

If you couldn’t tell by now, intimacy is my favorite way to use my empathic abilities. Because of them, I have had a totally different sexual experience than that I had been taught to expect. An experience I have come to crave over and over again, which is one reason I’m so against the social narrative of sex as it currently exists. People are missing out on so much because we are all empath, you know.

I use this ability to draw on high energy emotion in combination with salt, to ward off low energy emotion, for a higher sexual experience even in a casual context.

I use salt to line entrances to my home: doors and windows. I use salt circles during meditation, card readings, and consulting with spirit (which I do often). I use salt around my bed. Not only does it protect you from low energy sexual experiences but it also keeps the nightmares at bay along with the added protection of my dream catchers.

In general, salting usually follows cleansing and smudging for me. Unrefined salt works best. Paakai or Hawaiian salt is my personal preference; no specific reason that I’m consciously aware of. If you want to learn more, I found this article about the spiritual power of salt to be very useful, and I’m certain you will, too.

Sex positive and body positive blog, Subscribe to for a refreshing perspective on sex, relationships, and spirituality. Tearing down social constructs one patriarchal perspective at a time.

Smudging for clearing

Since discovering the why of my longtime, uncanny ability to read people, I have been slightly obsessed with developing my psychic gifts. I almost feel like I attract more energy now. Either that or I’m just more sensitive to the energies I attract and carry. Because of this, smudging is my favorite method of clearing energies. It covers a larger area over a shorter period of time. There’s less residue. It’s quick, easy, and it lingers.

I love watching the smoke rise as it dances to energies in the atmosphere.

I stick with White Sage and Palo Santo. Simple is easiest for me, however, there are so many different types of herbs for smudging. I smudge very often, as often as necessary, rarely going a week between smudgings.

You can do it anytime. I’ve discovered that the best time for me is evenings around midnight hence the title burning the midnight sage. This time is perfect because, at this point, my children are asleep, the businesses in my area are closed, most of my neighbors are asleep, my cleaning is done, and the world around me is still.

It is a good idea to smudge anytime you move into a new place or if you will be staying in another place, at a hotel or as a guest in someone’s home, etc. As a cutesy, ask if it is ok. It is also good to smudge before, after, and between all rituals; before and after house guest. I don’t just smudge my space but everybody in my home including my children and pets.

Lately, I’ve been having crazy dreams so I do a Palo Santo smudge before bed. Being an emotion magnet has its benefits, however, residual effects are not fun at all. It can be overwhelming in many cases.

It’s an infamous movie cliché to smoke a cigarette after sex. Me, I prefer to light up the sage and enlightenment my lover on its purpose and benefits. Burning sage is calming. I’m up writing this post right now as my children sleep, but I’m sure I’ll be editing later and finding other mistakes long after this.

Pretty Pink Lotus Bud for sex-positive spaces; #WomensOrgasmMatter; the sexually liberated woman, proheaux, sex magic

Did you enjoy this post?

What are some ways you discharge toxic energy?  Comment below and share this with your friends.

Subscribe Now for the Latest Updates

Can Sex Be Spiritual? 

It is often questioned whether sex can be spiritual. Well, I am here to set the record straight, once and for all. No, sex cannot be spiritual. Sex is spiritual. Every single act of sex is spiritual. Mindful acts of sex are high energy spiritual experiences. Less mindful acts (coerced, forced, passive, obligatory etc.) are low energy spiritual experiences.

Believe it or not, we have the exact same high and low energy experiences with every other act we perform: eating, grooming, daily tasks, raising our children. Even something as simple as walking is experienced as high or low energy. You ever notice how much more confident you feel with a raised head and little switch in your hip? Maybe it’s just me. This is why self-care and self-compassion is so important.

In the realm of what is spiritual and what is not, sex is no different than any other act. What is different is our cultural perspective. Sex is however, experienced at a different energetic frequency but this doesn’t make it better or worse, just different. Like light and sound, one travels faster but neither is more spiritual than the other. Each has its own role to play. Like running compared to walking, you’ll cover five miles faster running than walking however, you cover the exact same distance with either.

This has been my experience with sex and spirituality.

Transcending Shame

On my current spiritual journey, I kept running into spiritual blockages. It was frustrating and mildly discouraging. I wasn’t sure what the issue was; then suddenly it became clear. FEAR; what was I afraid of; what of myself was I holding back? I had renounced dis-serving cultural beliefs, acknowledged my spiritual gifts, and began exploring my own truth and creating a custom experience around that truth. So, what was missing? Something definitely felt missing.

Then one day a friend of mine, whom I had not spoken with in some time, asked me a very simple question. He asked, what I had done over my summer break. All of the wonderfully, euphoric memories came flooding back however, I was hesitant to provide him with a true answer. But why? And there was the answer to my spiritual blockage.

I had been afraid of the judgment and shame that accompanies those epic acts that I had the privilege of taking part in over the summer. I had not fully accepted myself as the sensual goddess that I know myself to be and was thus afraid of presenting this sexually liberated woman to others. I knew that I no longer wanted to be a prisoner of my own fear so I told him everything I had done over the summer. I told him that I had been hesitant to reveal this to him and I also explained why. His response was beautiful, reassuring, encouraging and quite inspiring; a message directly from spirit. I receive it.

Shortly afterwards, I started the Pretty Pink Lotus Bug blog to be a beacon of courage to guide others on their spiritual journey of unabashed sexual exploration; to embrace their sexuality, and redefine what it means for them.

Just recently, I visited my good friend Bree to have an oracle reading done that truly spoke to my spiritual awakening and sexual reveal. The cards spoke directly to severing ties with old beliefs and relationships that do not serve my journey as well as embracing the sexual being that I am (going with the flow) and discovering inner peace. My final card said, “Stand tall, don’t give up”, a highly reassuring message. If you are interested in learning more about her readings, I encourage you to visit Let her know I sent you.

Sexual Debris

We often speak of or see memes floating around the Internet regarding the exchange of toxic energy when engaging in sexual intercourse. These memes often present the idea that energy exchange through intercourse is more menacing than other forms of exchange and that we should be more careful and limit our engagement in energy exchange of the sexual type.

This doesn’t resonate as my personal truth.

Any energy exchange, including toxic energy, can happen under a variety of circumstances, not just sex, not necessarily more with sex, but it can definitely happen faster through intercourse. As a clairsentient empath, I know that we exchange and absorb energy from others without ever coming into physical contact with them.

Often you can limit or manage the exchange but we cannot prevent it whether we are having sex with a person or simply sharing an office space at our place of employment. Because of our social conditioning, we like to convince ourselves that there is a difference however, that is not fact. Simply put, you may claim it as your personal truth however; it is not a universal truth and should not be dictated to others.

Here, I’ll give you an example from my own life, unrelated to sex.

My marriage was a toxic and abusive relationship. Once my family discovered this, they quickly encouraged me to leave even though I had no income, no job, and essentially no other place to live.

A few years later, I was employed by a toxic and abusive employer. Even so, friends and family discouraged me from leaving out of the necessity for a source of income to care for my children.

From a cultural perspective, I get it. We are encouraged to leave toxic romantic relationships and tough it out with toxic employers at least until we find another option. From a spiritual perspective, it made absolutely no sense to be encouraged to leave one toxic relationship yet remain in another because of the cultural context when they both have the ability to inflict an equal level of harm from a psychological perspective and result in similar consequences (even when we tell ourselves otherwise).

For me, this scenario applies to sex and sexuality as well. The depth to which we are affected by certain experiences is highly influenced by our cultural perception. Declare that your spiritual perception vibrates higher than your cultural perception and it will be so.

It’s not about being careful about whom you exchange energy with, sexual or otherwise, it’s about learning to limit, manage, and discharge toxic energy effectively. Regardless of how it originated, this needs to happen across all social interactions and not just sex.

Am I telling you to be more promiscuous and engage in sex in a way that you wouldn’t usually? Not at all, unless that is what you feel compelled to do. I am telling you that one form of energy exchange is not more important than the other. Having fewer partners does not give you the increased ability to attract a more positive spiritual experience just has having more or multiple partners does not decrease this ability as we are often guided to believe.

We carry spiritual debris from all forms of social interaction simply because we do not discharge it appropriately. We must take care in all forms of energy exchange and not give sexual intercourse such a hard rep when it comes to aural energy. The law of attraction works the same with sex as it does with all other nonsexual acts regardless of your number of partners. Focus on the negative and that is what you will receive. Channel the positive and that is what you will meet completely unrelated to how many people you have or haven’t had sex with.

Culturally, we have taken on a very negative perspective when it comes to sex, and it is time for us to relinquish this dangerously self-critical perspective. Such a limited perspective of sexuality invalidates the experience of non-monogamous individuals. Know that these and other restrictions on our spiritual essence is simply the human mind’s way of making sense of its own reality by attempting to confine unbridled divinity.

Human is your form. Spirit is who you are. Sex is spiritual. I encourage you to embrace who you are in your current form and inevitably you shall transcend it.

This post was originally posted on House of Hathor. You can view the original post by following the link provided.

Pretty Pink Lotus Bud for sex-positive spaces; #WomensOrgasmMatter; the sexually liberated woman, proheaux, sex magic

Subscribe Now for the Latest Updates