In the heat of summer on an early Saturday evening, a beautiful woman of few friends and mild social anxiety can be found scrolling the personal ads of her local online classifieds to see what wonders there are to discover: long term relationships, casual encounters, women for men, women for women, women for more women.
She doesn’t find any ad that piques her interest, so she decides to place one of her own. She’s a talented writer with an entrenched love for writing. She fills her ad with poetic symphonies of iambic pentameter; words of truth from her heart. She writes in a way that people placing ads for online personals just don’t write. Not so, “Let’s just cut to the chase.” It’s a waste; nothing there anyway but weirdos and creeps, scammers, sex trafficers, and desperate souls. Oh, but she is neither and yet she is here. She’s just a lonely girl fishing to fill her Saturday night with a bit of fun and fresh delight.
I don’t know about anyone else, but I do enjoy the thought of the occasional risque rendezvous of encounters with strangers; nameless sex in unknown territory. Sometimes it magically morphs into more and those are the times I risk it all for. No pressure. Millenials are indeed recreating the dynamics of relationships.
I’ve met a few friends through the ads of online classifieds. Imagine my devastation when I discovered such a venue no longer exists.
We all do relationships a bit differently from meetings and individual introductions to sexual encounters and all facets of relationships.
This is one way I do or rather did them. Now, SESTA and FOSTA and the entire 45 administration is destroying what I suspect had been a way of doing relationships for many of us introvert, socially awkward and anxious type.
Anonymous Debut
Ever since the internet debuted in my life in the eighth grade, I’ve resorted to late night chat room conversations to keep me entertained in the realm of relationships. I truly enjoy the mystery and vulnerability of it all. Chat room therapy is what I once called it. Pouring out my truest confessions to faceless human persons while sitting nude in dim light gives new meaning to being naked.
I’ll be the first to admit that the potential for sex with a stranger excites me a lot more than actually following through on it. In my head, I romanticize it so much that I’m really just scared it won’t be remotely anything the way I see it in my mind’s eye.
In the words of a close friend of mine, “You can’t expect romance in a one night stand.” 🙄 I’m still not sure where we get such ideas from. Romance is so perfect for one night stands and I’ll tell you why just not today.
Casual Encounters
I’m just concerned that sex with a stranger might be all icky and objectified; sex without the connection.
Although, there was that one time that was quite magical. I had been fantasizing about a mmf (male, male, female) threesome, but there was no one in my life with whom I felt remotely comfortable in carrying out this fantasy with, so I placed my very specific request in the casual encounters section of the online classifieds.
Jay responded.
I’ve always been wary of mmf encounters because of the stigmas associated with them. There was a recent discussion on Instagram about reprogramming and reconstructing these ideas of multiple men having sex with one women.
I’d had a mmf threesome long ago that I mentioned in my 9 Tips for Her Better Oral Pleasure post. It was an unplanned pleasant experience. I wanted to have that again, but based on the stories I’d heard from other women, my experience was a lucky one; I felt like the probability of it happening again in that positive way was unlikely without some sort of guidance on my part.
Fortunately, Jay understood precisely what I needed and oh boy did he deliver. He and his close friend saw me through multiple selfless, pleasurable, shameless, and stigma-free squirting orgasms.
Would I have been able to have this had it not been for the ease of stranger encounters via online classifieds? Perhaps. Maybe not.
, it’s that context is everything. What is context? Context is the circumstances that form the setting for an event, statement, or idea, and in terms of which it can be fully understood and assessed; it is the greatest determining factor between “this is wonderful” and “this is awful” especially when it comes to sex.
As a teenager, I spent my weekends in Barnes & Nobles. One of those weekends, I came across a book, 
by Dr. Hilda Hutcherson, a female gynecologist. My mom knew I was sexually active and she wasn’t one for sex talks and conversations about boys so of course, she bought me the book and lots of condoms. That was much easier for her.
He’d ask me if it bothered me to have “cum” on my hand. I’d tell him not at all then I’d ask him, why. He’d told me some girls would respond with “Ewww, what’s that” or some other kind of yuck reaction.
