Sex positivity, like social justice, like self-care, is becoming a catch phrase that is being used sometimes loosely and without a multifaceted understanding of the phrase’s function. Frequently, sex-positivity is often used to categorize or define free spirited, and fun sexual behavior. I myself have used this word to describe my message around masturbation and its benefits to Black Womxn or to provide context to my nude art.
I’m a non-binary human. I say that first and foremost because I think there’s this unspoken “radicalness” to it. People don’t necessarily want me to be honest about who I am…to exploit the lie that is the gender binary. Ultimately people are scared of what they don’t understand and I think for lots the binary has been this constant that they’re used to and are comfortable with through conditioning.
I was 28 years old before I had a complete understanding of what is sexual coercion. I remember driving my grandmother to her general physician. There were pockets of pamphlets lined up on the wall talking about everything from pregnancy, to depression, exercising and other things. Among those pamphlets, there was one that read, “What is sexual coercion?” I grabbed it immediately and stuffed it into my purse to read later.
Women’s Orgasms Matter is a campaign created for sex positive and body positive sex education advocating for sexual freedom. Our focus is on sex positive sex education through sexual pleasure and sexual freedom.
Our goal is to promote empowerment by giving individuals what they need to make informed sexual decision that contribute to improvement in sexual health, reduction in undesired pregnancy, the confidence of being sexually aware, and simply attaining the sexual experience that you desire and all that may entail.
From a cultural perspective, we know that there is power in a name. We name our offspring, we name our pets, we name our possessions. All the things that are important to us, we give them a name to signify this truth. We understand that a name can be a source of empowerment. A name gives a thing a personal identity transforming it from just a thing. Desiree is certainly much, much more than just a thing.
For me, to be sexually empowered means owning all aspects of your sexuality, acknowledging the oneness of your mind, body, and spirit in every sexual encounter, and ALWAYS putting your desires and well-being first. Sexual empowerment means never avoiding the conversation. It means openly exploring desires without judgment. It means putting your health and your personal values first. It means embracing all the things that shape your sexuality.
Long ago when matriarchy ruled as patriarchy does today, men competed for the affection, attention, and approval of women. Women were worshiped and the Goddess ruled the heavens. Women had reign to choose any man they desired to fulfill their most imaginative fantasies. The post physically and sexually capable of the bunch were always top choice.
I remember my mother telling me a story of her first experiences as a parent. So vividly, I recall the one where I was playing in the bath tub as a toddler when I discovered my vulva. According to my mother, I was intrigued. I poked, prodded, and pulled at it. I even invited her to come see the new treasure I had discovered.
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