Vaginas are Portals to the Unmanifested

Prefer to listen? Here’s the sound cloud link to audio for “Vaginas are Portals to the Unmanifested” read by yours truly.

For the last couple of months, I’ve awaken from my sleep with no place to be. For the first few days it was really giving my mind a flipping workout. Oh how my mind loves to take situations of which it has never dealt with to try and make sense of it; to fold it ever so neatly and place it in a cute little box, perfectly wrapped for the season and say, “Here you are, Victoria; the perfect solution.” How does one come up with the perfect solution to an issue you’ve never encountered? How Sway? Your mind will have you convinced of the lies you tell yourself.

Yes, the perfect solution backed by repetitious behavior patterns and familiar learned responses that haven’t worked out once for you, yet. I mean what’s a girl to do every single morning with no place to be; no one besides me to carry me into the temporary bliss of orgasmic forgetfulness. Although it is a familiar state of being, it was out of place for me in my recently acquired position as an educator. Dealing with such would require quite a bit a of reprogramming…but from how or where?

I went for a walk. I talked on my walk. At first, I talked to myself. Then I started talking to the the little black dot in the upper left corner of my phone screen. This just felt like something I needed to capture…purposes yet unknown.

I took a short trip. First, to SoFlo where Mike met the kids. Then a longer, one to Colorado with my sisters. It’s what I do in these situations. I leave. Funny thing I’ve noticed is that as often as I leave these situations, these situations never leave me.

After each of my getaways, I got exactly what I needed. I needed to refresh in order to process this particular situation with renewed perspective. I needed the space to separate manic from manna which requires a significant amount of manual labor if you will. Here, I understood that this was a situation that did not require a solution and certainly not one I could offer from my own mind.

Seeking Guidance

Prior to entering the Universal year 11 that is 2018, I asked what I might need to bring on the journey into the new year. After two days of meditation alone in my place, the answer was a single word: COURAGE.

I printed an image of Courage the Cowardly Dog, traced and painted him on canvas, then hung the piece on my bedroom wall as a sign post not unlike the ones in the Colorado mountains reminding you to take caution in the curves ahead; Caution not fear. Those signs didn’t say don’t go nor did they say turn back– I just understood this. Any who, I brought Courage into 2018 with me. I didn’t know what it meant or why I would need it. Although it is very, very clear to me, now.

courage the cowardly dog on canvas

Fast forward through one of the most amazing years of my life, hands down no competition, on the literal cusp of my 33rd year I find myself entering yet another season. The universe says to me, “Those old behavior and thought patterns can no longer serve you, here.” Thanks for the word. If old patterns won’t work, what of new ones, of any at all?

Lost yet again, I look to my cards…my guides often speak through them. The response came swift. “The answer is within,” they said. Still lost and now a bit frustrated, I decided to dive into “Becoming”, Michele Obama’s book I had preordered months prior and had just gotten around to downloading on Audible.

I love Michele Obama. She is exactly the bare-bones, January 17th Capriquarian I’d expect her to be (my birthday twin)…unlike Steve Harvey but then again, he’s also a man encouraging women to think like men (ewwww!). I was half hoping that reading about the life of a different person born on January 17th might offer some insight to my own life. It worked…kinda…not in the way I had expected.

Just as I was about to download Becoming, another book populated my phone screen…The Power of Now. I’ve known about this book for a while and I’ve owned it for perhaps a bit over a year and had been waiting to get my hands on it for longer than that. It ended up finding me in my usual place; lost among books in a thrift store. It was obviously time to read it now.

The (useless) Attack

There is a savage attack against sexual freedom and the freedom of sexual expression as we speak. You can educate yourself via this wonderfully written post by my blogging colleague, When will we stop fearing sex? Sorry guys, no more of my lady boobs on Tumblr.

Maybe it’s nothing and maybe it’s because the Universe is expanding at an extremely rapid rate (go look it up) and the fact that vaginas are portals to the unmanifested (you’re free to research this as well). It also might have a lot to do with the fact that the energy being released into a rapidly expanding universe is similar to that of the rapidly expanding waist lines of pregnancy in preparation for labor.

Colorado the beautiful!

Maybe it is because such a labor is used to give birth to new consciousness and I’m not talking breeding and procreation. You can keep pretending you don’t feel this energetic shift all you want. Pretending you can solve life situations with old muddled mind habits. You can’t. You could also write this off as a conspiracy theorist rant because that’s definitely an option, too.

I remember being in labor with my daughter and the midwife yelling for me to “wait, wait, wait,” because she wasn’t quite dressed to receive the birth. My daughter came through anyway and as a result, I received seven cute little stitches. Moral of the story…ready or not, here it comes.

Teen Pregnancy Revelation

This past August I attended a workshop at the Woodhull sexual Freedom summit about teen pregnancy. I’m not sure or at least I can’t recall what I might have been expecting to hear at this workshop. However I was not expecting to hear what I heard.

We’ve all been taught that teenage pregnancy is “bad”. Ask anyone and you’re likely to get the same kind of answer for the same kind of reason. What I learned at the workshop is why teens pregnancy is seen as a bad thing and why there is such a huge campaign against it.

You might think these stats come from maybe mortality rates, maybe health departments, maybe premature birth rates, perhaps even Child Protective Services, or something of that nature but no.

The facts are that individuals who become pregnant as teens are less likely to receive college degrees, less likely to hold “better paying” jobs, and therefore contribute less into the country’s GDP which is how much money the country makes. Makes total fucking sense to me, now!

In conclusion, teen pregnancy is a bad thing not because of the risk to the parents or the children but because of the lack of contribution to the revenue or the profit that this country makes.

You can look that up, too.

So if you’re expecting anyone to be honest about the uninvention of sex or if you’re accepting the whole, “We’re protecting our children,” speech as truth, I invite you to wake up. If there is any protection to be had, any that is necessary, knowing is the only protection there is.

Sexplorations

I love sex conferences. I learn more at sex conferences, particularly more things that interest me than I’ve learned at any formal institution I’ve ever attended. Interest may have been sparked at these institutions. For example, my interest in sex beyond the physical act was sparked in my GSU sex and society class junior year in college. However, this is not where or even when actual exploration of the subject occurred.

My exploration of sex actually came from a budding spiritual journey hence the name Pretty Pink Lotus Bud with reference to my pretty pink (*) spiritual journey that is constantly shedding old petals for new ones and all those other things that lotuses do and represent.

I launched this blog in February 2017 and attended my first conference just six month’s later thank’s to my blog squad and a beautiful crowd funding campaign that allowed myself as well as two others the financial privilege to embark on this journey of sexploration. I can say, never before had I been welcomed into any community with such embrace. Not in my own family, not in “work” family, and certainly not in any church family. I have made the most unexpected wonderful friendships with individuals all over the world of which sex is not a no options game. #relationshipanarchy

Since then, I’ve attended a number of conferences throughout the US and one in London.

During the most resent conference, I attended the Punany Politics workshop hosted by the legendary TyShaw. I could try and explain to y’all what this workshop was about, but I won’t. I couldn’t do it justice if I attempted. It was a language, spoken in english with several references to tribal deities that only my soul could understand. She was actually talking too fast for my mind to do anything with it and I’ve come to the conclusion that this is a great thing.

Me and TyShaw

Punany Politics

In 2010, I graduated from Georgia State University with a bachelor’s degree in marketing. With that degree came classes on macroeconomics and microeconomics, finance and accounting, and a ton of bullshit on supply and demand.

And with all this knowledge on supply and demand I’m still confused as to why I’m not legally allowed to use my pussy to capitalize on the riches that are on the other side of my orgasm.

It’s my pussy. All of this knowledge that I have about sex is my intellectual property. How does this capitalism thing work again? Never mind. I think I’m pretty familiar. It only works how mostly men making those muddled mind habit decisions I mentioned earlier believes it should work. That why part is what always gets me stuck.

Why do you care what I do with my pussy? Why is my pussy such a threat that you need to make its use for monetary purposes illegal? Why is my pussy such an issue that you need to make my individual choice to abort a pregnancy illegal? Why is my pussy such a threat that you do your best to make it illegal for me to even post pictures of it on the Internet?

Because vaginas are portals to the unmanifested and we are in labor to birth a vision this world could never perceive.

Pretty Pink Lotus Bud for sex-positive spaces; #WomensOrgasmMatter; the sexually liberated woman, proheaux, sex magic

Manifesting: Mirrors, Magic, and Masturbation

This is actually the title of one of the workshops (Mirrors, Magic, and Masturbation) at Sex Down South Conference. I didn’t attend that workshop but I liked the title so I decided to use for this post.

When I was primary school-age, my grandparents had a mirror mounted in the kitchen. Every evening I’d get to the table before all my cousins so I could sit and glance intermittently at my reflection as I ate dinner. This seat also happened to be at the head of the table.

I don’t recall how long I did this before my great-grandmother banned me from this seat and told me that I was “stuck on myself”. There was truth in that. I see that now. Back then, I was obsessed with mirrors; very little has changed.

I used mirrors to look at all parts of my body and not just my face. In the evenings, my grandmother would complain about how long I was taking in the bathroom. If you guessed it was because I was busy ‘looking up my ass’ as my grandmother called it, you’re absolutely right.

In school, I was always the girl you could ask for a mirror. I’d carry around those round compact mirrors that I never paid for…mirrors seemed to find me everywhere. There’s more to it than that though. I was manifesting MIRRORS.

When I was in college, I hung multiple mirrors in my dorm room. It was the first thing people noticed when they walked in. My first apartment had mirrors as the closet doors and I still bought more mirrors.

I once visited a friend in high school and there were mirrors everywhere in her house. She said, “Yeah, my mom loves mirrors.” And I thought, “When I get a place, I’m going to do this in my place.” I did.

My great-grandmother was right. I was certainly stuck on my-Self.

Mirrors are portals to magical realms. I knew that even before I knew that. Often times I’d stare into the mirror with intention…unaware of what those intentions were…didn’t make them any less powerful. I was manifesting beautiful thoughts of myself and didn’t even realize it.

I am a Master Manifestor.

As an adolescent, I’d sit on the bed with the soles of my feet together, prop a mirror there, and begin to open the floral folds of my pussy, exploring mySelf as I stare in amazement at the reflection.

Even then I knew my pussy was magical.

There was nothing sexual about that touch. There were simply the thoughts, “This is so fucking cool; Is this really mine? I wonder what it can do.”

I’d been touching myself for years. To see and touch me and watch me as I touch me was an entirely new level of elevation. I was manifesting PLEASURE. I have had quite an abundance of that and to be totally honest, it’s one of those things I live for….Its one of those “if I could have that one more time before I die” type of things.

Earlier I told you that mirrors are portals to magical realms…as are pussies. Do you see where I’m going here? It’s totally ok if you don’t. Because you know I’m going to continue my story either way.

Even from a teenager, I have had an amazingly pleasant, pleasure-filled journey with my many partners. And as I listen to so much of the traumas that my sisters have been through in their sexual journeys (that I can absolutely relate to) I am so thankful for the beautiful perspective of my own journey. No doubt this message came from mySelf. I was manifesting this EXPERIENCE.

I hadn’t realized.

I was 28 years old experiencing a divorce when I began to recognize I was manifesting my DESIRES…not me though…mySelf.

Also, I and mySelf are not separate. One is just subconscious and therefore woke as fuck. They teach you that the subconscious is asleep; declare that it is awake. Know that the subconscious is awake and playing a vital role in your being-ness even as you may be unaware. So don’t worry, you’ll always be exactly where you’re supposed to be.

Lots of people were sure the divorce was all my ex husband’s fault. After all he was the one having extra-marital affairs, being disrespectful, and violent. Shortly there after the separation, I met a person that I fell in love with instantly. I knew I had been the one to cause this experience.

While talking to a friend of mine, I confessed that I had not been happy in my marriage and that I’d just been pretending to save face. Truth…I pined for love and pleasure, something I always had, had suddenly been gone with two simple words, “I do.”

When I was married, my thoughts would often start like this, “Once this is over…” Sad, I know.

It was here that I recognized my MAGIC.

I broke free so that I could discover that love and pleasure I’ve become so attached to. Once I recognized my power, I begin imagining all of the things I could possibly manifest. It was everything I needed to focus and practice.

Manifesting through mirrors and masturbation is a regular practice for me. It is indeed a magical journey. My practice is insatiably sensual and intelligently intimate. MySelf knows me better than I could ever know mySelf. It is here in the climax of my self-induced orgasm that I relinquish all that I Am to mySelf. To gain control, you must indeed let go.

Today, I have this special mirror…it’s heavy. It reminds me of the mirror over the kitchen table at my granny’s house. The frame is gold. I prop it against the wall in the hallway of my place as I lean against the opposite wall. I watch myself touching myself and sometimes I record myself watching myself touching myself as I rock back and forth manifesting through mirrors, magic, and masturbation.

Making magic with Mirrors and Masturbation

Yes, the mirror matters. Not as much as you do. Special mirrors have special effects and special may vary. The more sentiment you attach to the mirror, the more powerful it becomes. This becomes even more powerful when there is not physical attachment to the mirror. That way the object does not have power over you…see…let go.

I’m a bit frugal. I am also nostalgic. The mirror I use reminds me of my childhood and I thrifted it. Now, that is special to me.

I’m not going to tell you to strip naked and start playing with your pussy. You might not be there yet. Start slow…if you need to…and if you’re unsure, ask your-Self and trust that answer.

Sit in front of the mirror everyday with all your clothes on, perhaps a favorite outfit, that may help you feel beautiful or sensual and simply ask yourSelf, “Who am I?” Do that everyday until you are comfortable removing some of your clothing. Touch your exposed skin. Watch yourself touching yourself. Pay attention to the thoughts that populate your mind. Decide if you’d like to change those thoughts. Note whether you love those thoughts.

Do this everyday, removing more and more clothing each day asking yourself only one question, “Who am I?” Don’t answer it though. The answer is already there. Keep a journal of your thoughts, feelings, and changes each day.

Dance in your mirror. Have a conversation with yourself…speak objectively about what you see, speak sensually about what you see, speak candidly about what you see, speak kindly about what you see…love on yourself. Make this experience unique to you.

Here are some things I say to myself:

You so fine.
I’m so fly.
You are so amazing.
I love mySelf.
Hey, Beautiful.

When you’re ready, cultivate the space you need to allow your fingers to explore nonsexually…If it turns sexual wonderful….if it doesn’t just as well.

When you’re ready.

Pretty Pink Lotus Bud for sex-positive spaces; #WomensOrgasmMatter; the sexually liberated woman, proheaux, sex magic

Enjoyed this post?
Subscribe to a sexually liberated experience

Sex Magick: An Introduction

This post is All About Sex Magic and I’m not talking Tantra here. At least I don’t believe so. However, I cannot be 100% certain, only because I’ve never actually read any Tantra myself. Although, I plan to. I’m curious as to how Tantra aligns with the things I’ve discovered for myself and my experience and experiments with Sex Magic.

Sex and spirituality are two things we don’t commonly discuss intersectionally. However, sex is very much a part of our spiritual evolution and affirming ourselves. It’s so important to affirm ourselves through unconditional self-love.

It has been said that sex magic is simple. I agree in theory; yes, however there is so much more to Sex Magic than meets the five senses.

Do you believe in magic?

What is magic? Magic is simply the way we choose to communicate our desires into the universe… Along with our faith in the manifesting of those desires. No matter who you are, no matter where you are or how you achieve this, at any given moment we are constantly communicating our desires whether it be intentional or not.

Sex is one powerful means of intentionally manifesting your desires.

I started doing sex magic during the summer of 2016. I have been practicing ritual spells, potions, and such since 2013 during an ugly custody battle for my children. As a mother with a newborn, no job, no income, and no place of my own, I knew I needed to source powers beyond my own physical capabilities. It was my nowhere else to turn leap of faith. And guess what it worked. Even my lawyer was surprised we had won. That was also because as a newbie lawyer he was making deals under the table with my ex-husband’s more season lawyer. But that’s neither here nor there. 🙄

No weapon formed against me shall prosper.

Anywho, I was hooked. Using my newly discovered abilities to manifest my desires, I kept my request short and simple. I watched them all come to pass. Then begin feasting my eyes on greater. I also wanted those greater things to happen faster.

These days, whenever I want something I get it. Especially answers to my most burning desires. Like how do I manifest my desires more promptly. The answer that came back was simple enough… Sex Magik.

Hit or Miss

And here is where things get less simple. My attempts to manifest through sex magic were hit-or-miss. Sometimes I’d be successful but most times I find myself saying this is not what I meant.

Intentions are everything whether you’re aware of those intentions or not. To be productive in any form of magic your intentions must be clear. Sex is a bit tricky in this matter due to our sex-negative conditioning. There may be certain aspects of sex, certain conditioned beliefs we hold in regards to sex that prevent us from maintaining clear intentions– blockage. Often times we aren’t aware of these blockages.

Because of this, most of us will have to do a bit of excavating before imploring sex magick to grant what we seek and exploit its grand potential. And no, I’m not there. Yet I am on this incredible journey where I have learned so much already, I feel compelled to share it with you.

Calibrate your Compass

Why is the world so imbalance? First of all creativity, desire, and pleasure all resonate in the root chakra. Your root chakra is your compass, your most basic and primitive spiritual sense pointing you in the direction of your passion. Many of us are like uncalibrated compasses which causes confusion and imbalance when it comes to manifesting your desires through any means. Because of this, being aroused does not always equate to a desire to have sex.

As you explore sex magick you will quickly learn that sex is not as primitive as people believe it to be. It is not simply a physical act of procreation and pleasure. It is a vehicle, a powerful vehicle of communication. It’s similar to sending an email versus sending snail mail and getting the same or better responses via email.

Sex is of the root chakra and it is the foundation of your Spiritual Being-ness. As we all know if your foundation is broken, it causes so many other problems in other areas. The entire structural integrity of the building has been compromised and for many of us we might very well need to rebuild from the ground up when it comes to our ideas about sex.

In other words, if you harbor a lot of the sex-negative messages that are pervasive in our society, it definitely isn’t the ideal foundation for the practical use of sex magick. It’s important to understand that some foundations require more work than others. Get to work on that foundation.

This is the time to kill confusion, to calibrate your compass, and reconstruct a new foundation through balancing your root chakra. This can happen in many ways and especially through meditative masturbation.

It’s time to touch yourself with intention and without shame. It’s time to feel (yes, I meant feel) your cup from the bottom up. Fall in love with the basic essence of your being-ness.

My child you are created through sex, imagine the things that you are capable of creating through sex.

Sex magic begins with deconstructing sex-negative conditioning and cultivating self-love.

Pretty Pink Lotus Bud for sex-positive spaces; #WomensOrgasmMatter; the sexually liberated woman, proheaux, sex magic

Enjoyed this post?
Subscribe to a sexually liberated experience

3 Reasons to Masturbate Beyond Pleasure

How can a person be an advocate for women’s orgasms and not be an advocate for masturbation? Short answer. You can’t.

Lately, I’ve been talking a lot about masturbation and that’s no coincidence.

First, the theme for round one’s summer 100 is masturbation and self-pleasure. And ever since I took part in the 30-day orgasm fun, I’ve learned so much about masturbation and I love sharing these things with y’all.

What is the purpose of masturbating? So many reasons, right? I’m sure many of us can agree that masturbation is a very pleasurable experience. Here are three more reasons to masturbate beyond just pleasure.

Self-Exploration

During the 30-day orgasm fun, I learned that not all toys are created equally. Many of them are really simple to use, while others require a bit more practice. No worries, because I’ve also learned that such toys present the opportunity to spend time deliberately getting to know your body as you master the use of this pleasure inducing device better known as the sex toy.

As I mentioned in Touch of Self-Love, I have been masturbating for a very long time. Even as that is true I know that there is still so much to learn about my ever-evolving sexual body. The first time I used a toy that wasn’t so straightforward I got super frustrated. As I navigated the toys over my clitoris, I’d find a good spot and then I lose it. Highly frustrational.

I was not having any orgasm fun at all. I felt like I just wanted to throw it against the wall. I had read so many rave reviews. I just wanted it to perform for me the way it did for its reviewers. In the midst of my frustration and a masturbation session that was asking well over 12 minutes, I took a deep breath and decided I try again later that week. In the meantime, I chose a different toy to finish things off.

When I used the toy again later that week I was surprised at how much better the experience was going compared to when I first used it. Through the use of other toys, I had been exploring more with my physical pleasure. Once you can master your own body, you can master almost any decent toy.

Exploring yourself, including through masturbation, is important to your self-care and unlocking your magic. Eliminating shame is also a key to unlocking your magic. There’ll be a post on this soon.

Healing and Self-Care

Often we hear about meditation, therapy, baths, and yoga as a part of self-care. Well, let’s add masturbation to that list. As Ani can tell you, self-care is more than just manicures and girls night out. Self-care is indeed a way of life.

I take pride in my masturbation experience. And before it became a thing of sexual pleasure, it was purely for the purpose of relaxation. As a child, I had a lot of anxiety. I’m still figuring out why that is or what that means. Anyway, masturbation has helped me a lot through that anxious period in my life.

I never got over that anxiety, for the most part, I just learned to suppress it and masturbating allowed me to relax my anxiety away. The truth is masturbation is like my security blanket. It helps me relax; it helps me sleep. Masturbation puts me in a meditative state of sorts. And when I’m in this state, I express myself more creatively. I’m more comfortable and open to exploration, especially spiritually.

It didn’t take me long through all of this relaxation, connection, openness, and creativity to recognize I was healing myself. Through this conscious and physical act of self-exploration and self-pleasure. I witnessed a rise in my confidence and the release of stress and fear that was manifesting in the form of depression. Now, this has not been through masturbation alone, however, masturbation has acted as a strong catalyst on my healing journey.

Sex Magick

When you encounter something powerful that helps you connect and release you better believe magical things are happening. Sex, in many ways, is a spiritual practice for me. With its anatomical location in the pelvic plexus, the root chakra and sex is linked to creativity, passion, and desire. It is the base, the foundation of our spiritual evolution. It is associated with feeling safe and grounded. No wonder it helps so much with my anxiety.

The root chakra, which is where we house our ideas and feels about sex, provides the foundation on which we build our life.

It supports us in growing and feeling safe into exploring all the aspects of life. It is related to our feeling of safety and security, whether it’s physical or regarding our bodily needs or metaphorical regarding housing and financial safety. To sum it up, the first chakra questions are around the idea of survival and safety. The root chakra is where we ground ourselves into the earth and anchor our energy into the manifest world.

Chakras.info

If there are any energy blockages happening in your root chakra, masturbation absolutely helps you release them. Once things are balanced, this is when the real magic happens. It’s like the difference between one of those fake plastic trees and a tree with actual roots. It is the difference between existing in the world as we are told and being free to grow, change, and evolve in the way we were designed.

Real trees produce fruit; those fruits produce seeds; seeds produce more trees. Masturbation can be and for me it very much is the key to manifesting my desires and creativity in the physical.

In this way, you get to decide what that tree will become. Sex Magick is very powerful and precise. It is my preferred form of practical magick. Through balance and development, it becomes as easy as thinking a simple thought channeled by your desire, your passion, and your creativity.

I have not mastered sex magic. I assure you I’m well on my way which is the best part because I’m in such a place of discovery and exploration. So much is new to me and I teach as I learn.

Pretty Pink Lotus Bud for sex-positive spaces; #WomensOrgasmMatter; the sexually liberated woman, proheaux, sex magic

Enjoyed this post?
Subscribe to a sexually liberated experience