Consent

Pretty Pink Lotus Bud: When did you first recognize you needed consent?

When did you first recognize you needed consent?

The first time I knew I needed consent. It was May 2013. I had received a judicial order to return to my residential state that accused me of endangering my children and removing them without parental consent. In the months prior to this, my mother had ascended, I’d given birth […]

Single Mother Sex

As you may be able to imagine, single parenting can be extremely stressful. For me, sex is a huge stress release, and not being able to have regular sex can compound that stress and add frustration. Sex became a ritual of sorts, occurring only a few times a year when I could get the kids to sleep early enough and have my company out before they woke in the morning. These rituals turned into a full on sexual splurge when my children were away during the summer and winter breaks which contributed to how this blog was conceived, no pun intended.

Are Men Conditioned to be Predators?

Are men conditioned to be predators?

As I am confronted with the knowledge of a truth I have known but was not always aware of, I find myself mulling over this question. And as I gather all of the supporting details from experiences in my own life, past and current, I grow more sullen and more […]

Women's Orgasms Matter

Women’s orgasms matter because

Women’s orgasms matter because… as I wore my #WomensOrgasmsMatter t-shirt down the aisles of my local Wal-Mart both men and women commented how awesome my shirt was and inquired about where they could get one, but one black man said to me, “That’s a hard shirt to wear.” In the […]

What does it mean to be a sex positve parent? How does one navigate sex positivity when it comes to raising children?

To Be a Sex Positive Parent

I strive to raise sex positive children and as much as I strive for this, the reality is I don’t really know how. Contrary to what this blog may project…I am not a sex expert. The idea of being sex positive in general is relatively new to me so the […]

Common Occurrence of Sexual Coercion

The Common Occurrence of Sexual Coercion

I was 28 years old before I had a complete understanding of what is sexual coercion. I remember driving my grandmother to her general physician. There were pockets of pamphlets lined up on the wall talking about everything from pregnancy, to depression, exercising and other things. Among those pamphlets, there was one that read, “What is sexual coercion?” I grabbed it immediately and stuffed it into my purse to read later.

Experience of loving someone with HIV @PrettyPinkLotusBud Photo credit: Mads Madsfoto Johansen via Visualhunt.com / CC BY-NC-SA

To Love Someone with HIV

To love someone with HIV was the most painful experience in my life. You’d think I was the one who had been diagnosed.

But why, why was it such a painful experience? There have been so many medical advances when it comes to HIV and AIDS that such a diagnoses is no longer the death sentence it was once thought to be. Today, persons diagnosed with the virus can look forward to living long and prosperous lives. Am I right?

You couldn’t be more wrong. From a perspective of physical health, that is true, because of medical advances, some persons diagnosed with HIV can live healthy lives. We’ve even made advanced steps towards prevention with PrEP (coming soon in generic form). For others, this is not so. From a social perspective, an HIV diagnoses can absolutely become a death sentence; one of shame, of guilt, and of discrimination. The stigma of HIV is now more dangerous than the actual virus itself. Not just to physical health, but psychological well being most of all.

"Stop Running Pussy Scams" Sex positive & body positive blog, Subscribe for a fresh perspective on sex, relationships, & spirituality while dismantling sexual social constructs.

Stop Running Pussy Scams!

What exactly is a pussy scam?

A pussy scam is when a person, usually a cisgender man offers to do something nice for another person, usually a cisgender woman, with the expectation of sex being the reward of a supposedly genuine gesture of kindness. In many cases, he might offer to do a favor, fulfill a need, complete a task, take her out, or buy her something like dinner and drinks.

Pussy scams are so rampant that women often turn down kind offers from men because we feel like sex is more than likely the expectation. I mean, especially if you like a guy. You’re so reluctant to ask of anything or accept any offers because you don’t want to be disappointed.

It’s like, “Oh, here’s this guy who barely knows me, being so sweet and offering to do all these nice things.” Then you ask yourself cynically, “Ok, what does he want.” Answer, “The only thing that he knows you have for sure.”

"Slut-shamed for Being a Sex Blogger" Sex positive & body positive blog, Subscribe for a fresh perspective on sex, relationships, & spirituality while dismantling sexual social constructs.

Slut-Shamed for Being a Sex Blogger

Since launching my blog in February, I have been so delighted to tell people that I am a sex blogger. And as I watch my growing subscribers and social media followers I am excited that people actually enjoy reading about the things that I write. Even though I only just launched in February, this blog has been years in the making.

Discover 7 Truths about Being NonMonogamous. Sex positive and body positive blog, Subscribe to PrettyPinkLotusBu... for a refreshing perspective on sex, relationships, and spirituality. Tearing down social constructs one patriarchal perspective at a time.

7 Truths About Being NonMonogamous

Embracing my non-monogamous self has been a long road of heartache: lies, guilt, broken trust, and a seemingly endless amount of tears. It has been a battle within myself as well as outside of myself.

Imagine in almost every relationship you’ve ever been in, constantly being told that you’re wrong, dishonest, a liar, a cheater, selfish, disloyal, or weird all because you desire to be with or love more than one person at a time. Imagine constantly being threatened that you have to choose only one or you’re going to end up alone. Welcome to my life.