Fuck Me Like a Gentleman

Last Thursday, I had the honor of performing for some beautiful Houstonian melanated people on the Nawfside. I don’t think I ever tell yall how much I love my people…lies…but not nearly enough ✊🏿. They’re the same ones I hung out with earlier this summer. You might remember from my insta-stories if you follow me on Instagram.

And for those who did not realize, yes, I am spoken word talented…sometimes. Spirit has given me some good pieces…they just don’t come that often (I’m working on that, too 👀). When I host people be expecting me to spit all evening and I be like, “Wait, wait, wait, I ain’t got but three poems; can I save at least one for next time?”….😆

I mean, I will be up in here hosting every OTHER Thursday for Slowed Down Thursday

(Warning:…
Shameless
Plug
ahead)

I performed one new piece and another piece that I’ve performed only a few times, but has been well received each time I’ve performed. The piece is entitled, “Fuck Me Like a Gentleman”; I call it my multidimensional woman poem. The last time I performed it was in Hollywood, FL On the B-Side with Ms. Ingrid B. ObbieWest was in the audience with his beautiful, deeply melanated Self ✊🏿. #hesofine

That man makes my vagina do kegels which intern causes my uterus and fallopian tubes do jumping jacks. And just to be clear, this particular reaction is completely energetic. Don’t worry about it if you don’t understand. Chile, let it be. You know what they say, “The Blacker the berry; the brighter the light.” No? That’s just me. Anyway, it’s the truth.

So last Thursday, I performed my multidimensional woman poem and it got the kind of standing ovation that I wasn’t really expecting. A 62 year old man sitting in the rear of the crowd near the entrance of the club stood up out of his seat and proclaimed quite loudly into the crowd that my poem made his dick hard. Yes, he used those exact words. He later confided that he doesn’t get aroused very often.

I’m definitely still high off of that fanning moment. My work has the power to arouse without touch. Not as though I didn’t already know that; a testimony is everything. It raises credibility…if you ever doubted me. Please See Audre Lorde’s Uses of the Erotic.

Hopefully, all of you reading will get to see me perform once these tickets go on sale.

Fuck Me Like a Gentleman explores the various dichotomies of being a woman and respectability politics in a user friendly, easy to digest, and comprehensible format. It uses simple language with minimal complexities and ambiguities which I can overdo sometimes when I write. The piece was inspired by the way I desire to be treated in and outside of the bedroom. This along with the way I dress, speak, or the way I move in this world does not determine my respectability. As you can imagine, I’ve heard my poem interpreted from a variety of perspectives which has been the most interesting thing of all.

How can what I’m saying be so different than what you’re hearing? I’m still trying to process that part. 🤔

After I finished the poem, the entire room was quiet for a brief moment then the ladies in the room began to nod in agreement, insert standing ovation, and there were still men arguing whether or not this is something that can actually be done…😣

“Fuck that treating like a gentleman shit; I’mma treat her ass like an animal,” one man responded.

And that’s probably because that’s how you want to treat her, right. Not because that’s how she asked to be treated or even how she wants to be treated.

I had to tell him, “That’s the best advice I can give you, sir and that came from the source so pay attention.” I’m just glad he paused to even consider that statement.

That was amazing and not in a good way. Imagine, a woman is standing before you, telling you how she desires to be treated yet you still decide that you will treat her how you want or believe you should treat her for whatever reason you use to excuse your behavior. Somebody help me pick up my bottom jaw off the floor. Wow, just wow! 😮🤯

We have so far to go with just the basics of consent…then there’s communication, connection, intimacy…so many other things that factor into great sex. And if your woman/vulva owning partner is not having back to back…what I call rolling orgasms complete with aftershocks then I’m pretty convinced your sex is not as great as you think it is. Say want you want and I’ll say what I will (wield). #fightme

The sixty two year old gentlemen later joined me at the stage where the conversation took a deeper turn. But ya’ll gonna have to wait for that one… Subscribe and to find out how that one went.

Pretty Pink Lotus Bud for sex-positive spaces; #WomensOrgasmMatter; the sexually liberated woman, proheaux, sex magic

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I need my children to see me in love

I am polyamourous. I fall in love often and mostly this love exists under certain conditions. Falling in love unconditionally is me in my rarest form.

The last time I was unconditionally in love with someone was before my children were born. Although that love carried through into the first two years of my daughter’s life, she didn’t really get to witness that because that love was not for her father, whom I was with at the time.

I need my children to see me in love.

I never saw my mother in love. I heard stories. I read letters. I saw pictures of a high school sweetheart and weekend getaways, my mother in rare form. I saw the joy in her face as she stare at the ring on her finger, the devastation in her voice when she realized she’d lost it, her tears and anger as she grieved the loss…of the relationship. The regret of not following her heart. I’d often wonder where it all originated.

In those times I didn’t understand that this is love.

She never explained to us that she was in love…it was just something we had to assume if we knew any better. I didn’t see her being affectionately cared for, kissed, and held. I never heard anyone say to her, “I love you, Dianne.” For some odd reason, someone somewhere thought this might be more damaging than helpful for children of single parentage.

It seems as though the idea was to hold motherhood separate from such acts particularly if you are not married to the object of your affection. My mother had never been married.

I’m so in love

I’ve written about Mike many times throughout my blog. There is no question about it. I am in love with this man…this person. We met five years ago. In that time we’ve spent many fleeting moments together. We’ve shared passion in passing. I’ve often found myself questioning the validity of it since it doesn’t quite look the way I’ve been taught that it should. I recognize it only by the way it feels…by the way this feels. By the way I recall my mother feeling. I finally know what it looks like for me.

I love that he loves me exactly where I am. We don’t have to go over all the technicalities of gender roles and such. He understands that I exist way outside of those parameters.

Recently, this man I’ve known and shared this connection with for the last five years was granted the honor of meeting my children for the first time. This is not the first time my children have met someone that I’m involved with, however it is the first time they’ve met someone I am in love with. Someone with whom I interact with differently…more affectionately.

My children are the primary objects of my affection…and my cat. They get all the hugs and love and kisses. Mike doesn’t know this truth though because I shower him with the same loving affection. Yep, I’m so in love.

My children deserve to see me in love.

On the day they were set to meet him, I prepped them first. Yes, I did. My children have never seen me in love. They don’t know what that looks like and I wanted them to be clear so they wouldn’t have to make assumptions the way I did as a child.

When I sat them down, it was brief. I told them today they would meet Mike. I let them know that today, they would bear witness to what mommy looks like expressing romantic love. I let them know that they would be catching all the love vibes and why it was such an awesome thing to witness. Finally, I asked them if they were ok with that and not to my surprise, they consented to seeing their mommy in love. I would have done the same.

We spent the evening on the beach me, Mike, and the kids. We talked to them more about our relationship, how we met, and other things. I talked with Mike about my relationship with my children and the values that I’m cultivating with them. All of these things are important to me. My children got to witness that the way I express my love for Mike is not very different than the way I express love to them.

This love is infinite even if my relationship with Mike is not. I’m not concerned with its end. I’m concerned with what it is and more than anything it is NOW. And if you know like I know, now is the only time that matters. It is an energy that my children will reference whether consciously or subconsciously for a lifetime. They will measure their own love by this energy and that is a good thing because this…this love is great. It is all those things that l read that love should be in 1 Corinthians 13:4-8.

Pretty Pink Lotus Bud for sex-positive spaces; #WomensOrgasmMatter; the sexually liberated woman, proheaux, sex magic

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