Category Archives: Masturbation

Manifesting: Mirrors, Magic, and Masturbation

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This is actually the title of one of the workshops (Mirrors, Magic, and Masturbation) at Sex Down South Conference. I didn’t attend that workshop but I liked the title so I decided to use for this post.

When I was primary school-age, my grandparents had a mirror mounted in the kitchen. Every evening I’d get to the table before all my cousins so I could sit and glance intermittently at my reflection as I ate dinner. This seat also happened to be at the head of the table.

I don’t recall how long I did this before my great-grandmother banned me from this seat and told me that I was “stuck on myself”. There was truth in that. I see that now. Back then, I was obsessed with mirrors; very little has changed.

I used mirrors to look at all parts of my body and not just my face. In the evenings, my grandmother would complain about how long I was taking in the bathroom. If you guessed it was because I was busy ‘looking up my ass’ as my grandmother called it, you’re absolutely right.

In school, I was always the girl you could ask for a mirror. I’d carry around those round compact mirrors that I never paid for…mirrors seemed to find me everywhere. There’s more to it than that though. I was manifesting MIRRORS.

When I was in college, I hung multiple mirrors in my dorm room. It was the first thing people noticed when they walked in. My first apartment had mirrors as the closet doors and I still bought more mirrors.

I once visited a friend in high school and there were mirrors everywhere in her house. She said, “Yeah, my mom loves mirrors.” And I thought, “When I get a place, I’m going to do this in my place.” I did.

My great-grandmother was right. I was certainly stuck on my-Self.

Mirrors are portals to magical realms. I knew that even before I knew that. Often times I’d stare into the mirror with intention…unaware of what those intentions were…didn’t make them any less powerful. I was manifesting beautiful thoughts of myself and didn’t even realize it.

I am a Master Manifestor.

As an adolescent, I’d sit on the bed with the soles of my feet together, prop a mirror there, and begin to open the floral folds of my pussy, exploring mySelf as I stare in amazement at the reflection.

Even then I knew my pussy was magical.

There was nothing sexual about that touch. There were simply the thoughts, “This is so fucking cool; Is this really mine? I wonder what it can do.”

I’d been touching myself for years. To see and touch me and watch me as I touch me was an entirely new level of elevation. I was manifesting PLEASURE. I have had quite an abundance of that and to be totally honest, it’s one of those things I live for….Its one of those “if I could have that one more time before I die” type of things.

Earlier I told you that mirrors are portals to magical realms…as are pussies. Do you see where I’m going here? It’s totally ok if you don’t. Because you know I’m going to continue my story either way.

Even from a teenager, I have had an amazingly pleasant, pleasure-filled journey with my many partners. And as I listen to so much of the traumas that my sisters have been through in their sexual journeys (that I can absolutely relate to) I am so thankful for the beautiful perspective of my own journey. No doubt this message came from mySelf. I was manifesting this EXPERIENCE.

I hadn’t realized.

I was 28 years old experiencing a divorce when I began to recognize I was manifesting my DESIRES…not me though…mySelf.

Also, I and mySelf are not separate. One is just subconscious and therefore woke as fuck. They teach you that the subconscious is asleep; declare that it is awake. Know that the subconscious is awake and playing a vital role in your being-ness even as you may be unaware. So don’t worry, you’ll always be exactly where you’re supposed to be.

Lots of people were sure the divorce was all my ex husband’s fault. After all he was the one having extra-marital affairs, being disrespectful, and violent. Shortly there after the separation, I met a person that I fell in love with instantly. I knew I had been the one to cause this experience.

While talking to a friend of mine, I confessed that I had not been happy in my marriage and that I’d just been pretending to save face. Truth…I pined for love and pleasure, something I always had, had suddenly been gone with two simple words, “I do.”

When I was married, my thoughts would often start like this, “Once this is over…” Sad, I know.

It was here that I recognized my MAGIC.

I broke free so that I could discover that love and pleasure I’ve become so attached to. Once I recognized my power, I begin imagining all of the things I could possibly manifest. It was everything I needed to focus and practice.

Manifesting through mirrors and masturbation is a regular practice for me. It is indeed a magical journey. My practice is insatiably sensual and intelligently intimate. MySelf knows me better than I could ever know mySelf. It is here in the climax of my self-induced orgasm that I relinquish all that I Am to mySelf. To gain control, you must indeed let go.

Today, I have this special mirror…it’s heavy. It reminds me of the mirror over the kitchen table at my granny’s house. The frame is gold. I prop it against the wall in the hallway of my place as I lean against the opposite wall. I watch myself touching myself and sometimes I record myself watching myself touching myself as I rock back and forth manifesting through mirrors, magic, and masturbation.

Making magic with Mirrors and Masturbation

Yes, the mirror matters. Not as much as you do. Special mirrors have special effects and special may vary. The more sentiment you attach to the mirror, the more powerful it becomes. This becomes even more powerful when there is not physical attachment to the mirror. That way the object does not have power over you…see…let go.

I’m a bit frugal. I am also nostalgic. The mirror I use reminds me of my childhood and I thrifted it. Now, that is special to me.

I’m not going to tell you to strip naked and start playing with your pussy. You might not be there yet. Start slow…if you need to…and if you’re unsure, ask your-Self and trust that answer.

Sit in front of the mirror everyday with all your clothes on, perhaps a favorite outfit, that may help you feel beautiful or sensual and simply ask yourSelf, “Who am I?” Do that everyday until you are comfortable removing some of your clothing. Touch your exposed skin. Watch yourself touching yourself. Pay attention to the thoughts that populate your mind. Decide if you’d like to change those thoughts. Note whether you love those thoughts.

Do this everyday, removing more and more clothing each day asking yourself only one question, “Who am I?” Don’t answer it though. The answer is already there. Keep a journal of your thoughts, feelings, and changes each day.

Dance in your mirror. Have a conversation with yourself…speak objectively about what you see, speak sensually about what you see, speak candidly about what you see, speak kindly about what you see…love on yourself. Make this experience unique to you.

Here are some things I say to myself:

You so fine.
I’m so fly.
You are so amazing.
I love mySelf.
Hey, Beautiful.

When you’re ready, cultivate the space you need to allow your fingers to explore nonsexually…If it turns sexual wonderful….if it doesn’t just as well.

When you’re ready.

Pretty Pink Lotus Bud for sex-positive spaces; #WomensOrgasmMatter; the sexually liberated woman, proheaux, sex magic

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3 Reasons to Masturbate Beyond Pleasure

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How can a person be an advocate for women’s orgasms and not be an advocate for masturbation? Short answer. You can’t.

Lately, I’ve been talking a lot about masturbation and that’s no coincidence.

First, the theme for round one’s summer 100 is masturbation and self-pleasure. And ever since I took part in the 30-day orgasm fun, I’ve learned so much about masturbation and I love sharing these things with y’all.

What is the purpose of masturbating? So many reasons, right? I’m sure many of us can agree that masturbation is a very pleasurable experience. Here are three more reasons to masturbate beyond just pleasure.

Self-Exploration

During the 30-day orgasm fun, I learned that not all toys are created equally. Many of them are really simple to use, while others require a bit more practice. No worries, because I’ve also learned that such toys present the opportunity to spend time deliberately getting to know your body as you master the use of this pleasure inducing device better known as the sex toy.

As I mentioned in Touch of Self-Love, I have been masturbating for a very long time. Even as that is true I know that there is still so much to learn about my ever-evolving sexual body. The first time I used a toy that wasn’t so straightforward I got super frustrated. As I navigated the toys over my clitoris, I’d find a good spot and then I lose it. Highly frustrational.

I was not having any orgasm fun at all. I felt like I just wanted to throw it against the wall. I had read so many rave reviews. I just wanted it to perform for me the way it did for its reviewers. In the midst of my frustration and a masturbation session that was asking well over 12 minutes, I took a deep breath and decided I try again later that week. In the meantime, I chose a different toy to finish things off.

When I used the toy again later that week I was surprised at how much better the experience was going compared to when I first used it. Through the use of other toys, I had been exploring more with my physical pleasure. Once you can master your own body, you can master almost any decent toy.

Exploring yourself, including through masturbation, is important to your self-care and unlocking your magic. Eliminating shame is also a key to unlocking your magic. There’ll be a post on this soon.

Healing and Self-Care

Often we hear about meditation, therapy, baths, and yoga as a part of self-care. Well, let’s add masturbation to that list. As Ani can tell you, self-care is more than just manicures and girls night out. Self-care is indeed a way of life.

I take pride in my masturbation experience. And before it became a thing of sexual pleasure, it was purely for the purpose of relaxation. As a child, I had a lot of anxiety. I’m still figuring out why that is or what that means. Anyway, masturbation has helped me a lot through that anxious period in my life.

I never got over that anxiety, for the most part, I just learned to suppress it and masturbating allowed me to relax my anxiety away. The truth is masturbation is like my security blanket. It helps me relax; it helps me sleep. Masturbation puts me in a meditative state of sorts. And when I’m in this state, I express myself more creatively. I’m more comfortable and open to exploration, especially spiritually.

It didn’t take me long through all of this relaxation, connection, openness, and creativity to recognize I was healing myself. Through this conscious and physical act of self-exploration and self-pleasure. I witnessed a rise in my confidence and the release of stress and fear that was manifesting in the form of depression. Now, this has not been through masturbation alone, however, masturbation has acted as a strong catalyst on my healing journey.

Sex Magick

When you encounter something powerful that helps you connect and release you better believe magical things are happening. Sex, in many ways, is a spiritual practice for me. With its anatomical location in the pelvic plexus, the root chakra and sex is linked to creativity, passion, and desire. It is the base, the foundation of our spiritual evolution. It is associated with feeling safe and grounded. No wonder it helps so much with my anxiety.

The root chakra, which is where we house our ideas and feels about sex, provides the foundation on which we build our life.

It supports us in growing and feeling safe into exploring all the aspects of life. It is related to our feeling of safety and security, whether it’s physical or regarding our bodily needs or metaphorical regarding housing and financial safety. To sum it up, the first chakra questions are around the idea of survival and safety. The root chakra is where we ground ourselves into the earth and anchor our energy into the manifest world.

Chakras.info

If there are any energy blockages happening in your root chakra, masturbation absolutely helps you release them. Once things are balanced, this is when the real magic happens. It’s like the difference between one of those fake plastic trees and a tree with actual roots. It is the difference between existing in the world as we are told and being free to grow, change, and evolve in the way we were designed.

Real trees produce fruit; those fruits produce seeds; seeds produce more trees. Masturbation can be and for me it very much is the key to manifesting my desires and creativity in the physical.

In this way, you get to decide what that tree will become. Sex Magick is very powerful and precise. It is my preferred form of practical magick. Through balance and development, it becomes as easy as thinking a simple thought channeled by your desire, your passion, and your creativity.

I have not mastered sex magic. I assure you I’m well on my way which is the best part because I’m in such a place of discovery and exploration. So much is new to me and I teach as I learn.

Pretty Pink Lotus Bud for sex-positive spaces; #WomensOrgasmMatter; the sexually liberated woman, proheaux, sex magic

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Does “too much” Masturbation Make Me Less Sensitive?

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The theme for the last couple of months has been masturbation. It all started in April with the 30-day orgasm fun followed by May’s Masturbation Month. I got to try out a few awesome toys. I am so excited 🤩 to share via my YouTube channel launching this summer 😍.

Go on over and subscribe. It’s going to be wildly entertaining.

So with all of the reviews I have in the works, it is safe to say I have been doing quite a bit of masturbating. Yes, indeed.

Before the 30-day orgasm fun and masturbation month, I had never masturbated this much in my life. And never this consistently. So when someone following me asked whether a woman could become less sensitive due to “overstimulation” from masturbation I had no clue how to answer.

I ended up posting the question on my Instagram for others to answer. The spectrum of responses was so broad, my proposed solution didn’t get me any closer to the truth of whether “too much” masturbation causes you to become less sensitive.

One follower suggested that it might require more stimuli and more work to reach orgasm in the future. Another theory I was testing out for myself.

Now, this is the part where I tell you all about my experience.

For 30 days every single evening, I watched porn and entertained my followers on IG half expecting that each new climax would somehow cause me to become less interested in the next. To make a tall story short, that never happened. With each new climax, I half expected that the next one would take longer to achieve. Nope, that didn’t happen either.

Masturbating every day for 30 days straight using my fingers and a variety of toys did not cause me to become less sensitive.

In fact, I found that I became more in tune with my sensitivity. And by that I mean I learned which spots were more sensitive which methods of stimulation produced greater pleasure sensations in my genitals. Overall I just became more aware of what felt good to me and what brought my body pleasure.

The trajectory of my orgasm was within my complete control. Basically, that means I was able to control what I felt and how I felt based on which toys I used and whether I use my fingers or some other method. I was able to control how long I wanted my pleasure to last and if I didn’t want to take up too much time I knew exactly where to go to induce a 2-minute climax whereas when I first started the fun challenge, it easily took me an average of 8 minutes to reach orgasm.

The sensation of my pleasure did not decrease and I was able to shorten the time it took for me to reach orgasm.

Then came the final test of “too much” masturbation. Would it make it more difficult to reach orgasm during intercourse with a man?

Here’s the thing, whenever I spent all that time masturbating it is easy to assume you might become less interested in sex in general. Typically people talk about masturbation being a replacement for a body either directly or indirectly. I don’t know how anyone else feels about it, but this certainly isn’t true for me.

The more I was masturbating, the more I’d crave human touch, the more I’d wish there was someone enjoying the sexual experience alongside me. Because masturbation with a partner is quite an experience. Once the day arrived to fulfill this craving I was able to have multiple effortless orgasms. They took less time and there were more of them. Mind blown 🤯.

With way more confidence than I’d had before, I was able to tell my partner exactly where to go and exactly what to do for the maximum amount of pleasure. Now assuming you have a partner that takes directions well, this can be a magical experience; by magical I mean the entire constant masturbation for 30 days and then having this mind-blowing sexual experience with your partner afterward.

I did not require more work nor did I require more stimuli to reach orgasm. Specifically for me, I came faster.

And there you have it from me anyway. I encourage you to answer these questions for yourself and discover your own experience. It is beyond worth the journey; one Miss Scarlet describes well of her own masturbation journey.

Pretty Pink Lotus Bud for sex-positive spaces; #WomensOrgasmMatter; the sexually liberated woman, proheaux, sex magic

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Pretty Pink Lotus Bud for sex-positive spaces; #WomensOrgasmMatter; the sexually liberated woman, proheaux, sex magic-a sex blog about feminine sexuality, relationships, and spirituality

Adventures in the #30dayORGASMfun

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When Tabitha introduced us to the #30dayorgasmfun during the Eroticon meet and greet, I was definitely excited. However, I must admit I wasn’t expecting it to be anything more than just…well, fun. Oh, was I in for a special surprise.

Better Health Orgasms

With the 30 day orgasm fun, I can vouch that orgasms definitely give you a mental health boost. I’ve been feeling a lot less stress even when I’m stressed, if that makes sense.

I had my last therapy session 2 weeks ago, and as I talked with my therapist, I was happy to report no stress, no depression, and an increase in patience (still a work in progress). I am certainly in a better place from a vibrational perspective.

At one point during the challenge, I felt myself coming down with a cold. Who feels like masturbating when you feel like crap!? I did it anyway. I was fully committed to this challenge and thankfully so because it helped my body reject the virus. After only three days, I felt better. Now, I’m not saying that orgasms are the cure to the common cold, I am just telling you about this illustrious experience that I was having. It was pretty amazing.

Toys

Pretty Pink Lotus Bud for sex-positive spaces; #WomensOrgasmMatter; the sexually liberated woman, proheaux, sex magic-a sex blog about feminine sexuality, relationships, and spirituality

Thanks to Eroticon, I got the opportunity to try out some truly worthy sex toys that you definitely want to subscribe for the reviews to come. I wish I had had more toys to play with however, the lack of toys cause me to be a bit more creative.

As I mentioned in my sex toy Herstory post, I hadn’t had much experience with sex toys. Here was my opportunity to do some self-exploring.

I’ve learned that each sex toy offers a uniquely different experience. In some cases one is not even comparable to another; like the Zumio. It is truly a unique device in the most awesome way. My perspective on toys is very, very different now.

I got to experience some rather large toys, some small toys, dildos, non-penetrating vibrators, rumbly, and buzzy. Between rumbly and buzzy toys, they both give different types of orgasms and I really enjoy both types. They are two very different yet very awesome orgasmic experiences. I got to experience the longest orgasm I have ever had using a toy; 🤯 longest, emphasis on longest.

When time is of the essence

I kept a small journal so I was able to record sessions with different toys, with lube, without lube, in the bath if the toy was submersible. I was even able to record how long some masturbation sessions took.

I noticed that as the month progressed, I was better able to control my orgasms. I was learning more about where I experienced the most pleasure. I can certainly say with pinpoint accuracy that I get most of my pleasure on the right side of my clitoris.

Pretty Pink Lotus Bud for sex-positive spaces; #WomensOrgasmMatter; the sexually liberated woman, proheaux, sex magic-a sex blog about feminine sexuality, relationships, and spirituality

I learned my spots. I’m still learning my spots and I’m learning how to go directly to those spots instead of spending so much time searching around.

My sessions averaged a little over eight minutes. I did kind of dragged them out a little longer as I learn to control my orgasms because I was indeed having so much orgasm fun. So that may have had a bit of an effect on the average time. 😏

Debunking myths one sex toy induced orgasms at a time…

I have crazy stamina already, but I notice how this fun challenge was increasing my stamina. And I also discovered that even though I was masturbating everyday, I did not become less sensitive. In fact, I became more sensitive; more in touch with my sensitivity (myth debunked).

During this fun challenge I have learned so much about my body and not just my vulva and clitoris. Even though I did get to know them very intimately during this journey.

Pretty Pink Lotus Bud for sex-positive spaces; #WomensOrgasmMatter; the sexually liberated woman, proheaux, sex magic-a sex blog about feminine sexuality, relationships, and spirituality

Self Discovery and Sex Magick

I am a practitioner of sex magick. I’ve been practicing Sex Magick for about 2 years now; 2 years exactly in June. This challenge has been instrumental in bringing my root chakra into alignment and it’s made me realize so many things about how sex directly corresponds to your passion and your desires. Oh my goodness! Such an epiphany has come to me through this fun challenge.

Having an orgasm everyday has made creating and channeling much more productive. I found it easier to focus my intention when I’m manifesting through climax.

Your root chakra is a compass and masturbation helps to calibrate that compass! Guiding you towards your passion. More to come on this in another post.

All the things you desire in life can be sensed by your body on a vibrational level. Everything has a frequency and having an orgasm a day puts you more in tune with that frequency.

This is such an amazing Discovery!

The goal was 30 days of orgasms and I am very proud of my 29 days strong. I did miss one day because of a water bug where the kids sleep. Even though our cat killed it, they were so scared they wanted to sleep in my bed. As you can imagine, I didn’t get to have my orgasm that night😒 but I made up for it big time (and still am)🤣🤣.

Pretty Pink Lotus Bud for sex-positive spaces; #WomensOrgasmMatter; the sexually liberated woman, proheaux, sex magic-a sex blog about feminine sexuality, relationships, and spirituality

Although I did keep a journal, I realize, I did not record as much data as I could have in retrospect. I will definitely be doing this challenge again very soon when my apartment is free of children. There are so many things I want to try; so many toys I want to try; so many places I want to try them.

I mean I just never had a clue that orgasms could be so much more than fun. The 30-day orgasm challenge has definitely been an enlightening experience. I’d like to personally thank Miss Tabitha for coming up with this challenge, for introducing me to this challenge, and for being an amazingly profound woman.

Yes, the 30-day orgasm fun has ended but I don’t want to end it. fortunately for me it’s masturbation month, all May Long.

Confidence is just radiating from the pores of my skin to the gradients of my aura; an orgasm a day is literally giving me life.

A really awesome thing happens when you purchase the products I recommend. I get a small kickback at not cost to you! This post contains links to those awesome products. Click on them to learn more.

Pretty Pink Lotus Bud for sex-positive spaces; #WomensOrgasmMatter; the sexually liberated woman, proheaux, sex magic

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