Disclaimer: This post is not about sexuality. On Saturday, I experienced a very traumatic event. I was stopped by an officer and subjected to what seems to be a common experience between black people in America and law enforcement. At 32, this was my first and only experience with such a situation. Of everything that [...]
At the start of 2017, I was in such a crappy mood. I didn’t celebrate my 31st birthday. I just wasn’t feeling it and I gave myself permission to be in my feelings. I felt like something needed to change, and things were changing in that precise moment. I was born on this day. It [...]
The first time I knew I needed consent. It was May 2013. I had received a judicial order to return to my residential state that accused me of endangering my children and removing them without parental consent. In the months prior to this, my mother had ascended, I’d given birth to my second child, and [...]
As you may be able to imagine, single parenting can be extremely stressful. For me, sex is a huge stress release, and not being able to have regular sex can compound that stress and add frustration. Sex became a ritual of sorts, occurring only a few times a year when I could get the kids to sleep early enough and have my company out before they woke in the morning. These rituals turned into a full on sexual splurge when my children were away during the summer and winter breaks which contributed to how this blog was conceived, no pun intended.
I don’t enjoy complaining although I find myself doing it way more than I care to these day. Instead I search of reasons to be grateful, to be joyful, to be thankful yet I cannot ignore this sinking feeling that I feel. I don’t want to do this anymore. It’s not at all as fulfilling as I imagined it to be. I never expected it to be easy, but I certainly did not think for a second it would be this difficult. Psychologically and emotionally draining, desperation invades every cell of my body as I beg the Universe for a peaceful escape. It never comes. I rage over the tiniest little things. My children cry out for my sanity to return. I’m sorry
Women’s orgasms matter because... as I wore my #WomensOrgasmsMatter t-shirt down the aisles of my local Wal-Mart both men and women commented how awesome my shirt was and inquired about where they could get one, but one black man said to me, “That’s a hard shirt to wear.” In the time it took him to [...]
Actor Jordan Tyler for #WomensOrgasmsMatter Guys....Pay Attention to the Pussy I can't tell you how many times I've heard from women that their partners just don't give the pussy the proper attention. And no, I don't mean with their dicks. I mean with their tongues. They tell me that they are always expected to suck [...]
Sex positivity, like social justice, like self-care, is becoming a catch phrase that is being used sometimes loosely and without a multifaceted understanding of the phrase’s function. Frequently, sex-positivity is often used to categorize or define free spirited, and fun sexual behavior. I myself have used this word to describe my message around masturbation and its benefits to Black Womxn or to provide context to my nude art.
Have you ever met someone who had been a total stranger and felt something brilliant and beautiful resonating from within them? So much that you allowed or invited this person to stay awhile in your home without knowing much about them at all? Most people probably haven’t outside of some exchange or couch surfer’s program because we live in such a state of fear and skepticism. Well, this is certainly not the case for me.
I was 28 years old before I had a complete understanding of what is sexual coercion. I remember driving my grandmother to her general physician. There were pockets of pamphlets lined up on the wall talking about everything from pregnancy, to depression, exercising and other things. Among those pamphlets, there was one that read, "What is sexual coercion?" I grabbed it immediately and stuffed it into my purse to read later.