From a cultural perspective, we know that there is power in a name. We name our offspring, we name our pets, we name our possessions. All the things that are important to us, we give them a name to signify this truth. We understand that a name can be a source of empowerment. A name gives a thing a personal identity transforming it from just a thing. Desiree is certainly much, much more than just a thing.
Do you love giving blow jobs? I certainly do, and over the next seven days (including this one) I would like to take you all on a journey through the conception, birth, growth and development of my pleasures in giving head in this Joys of Fellatio blog series. As with other things I publish here on my blog, my goal is that those reading will learn something new and insightful from my personal experience with oral sex and quite possibly awaken some new desire within themselves. We’ll, soon dive deep into the wonders and pitfalls of genuinely enjoying fellatio but first, this brief introduction:
What exactly is a pussy scam? A pussy scam is when a person, usually a cisgender man offers to do something nice for another person, usually a cisgender woman, with the expectation of sex being the reward of a supposedly genuine gesture of kindness. In many cases, he might offer to do a favor, fulfill a need, complete a task, take her out, or buy her something like dinner and drinks. Pussy scams are so rampant that women often turn down kind offers from men because we feel like sex is more than likely the expectation. I mean, especially if you like a guy. You’re so reluctant to ask of anything or accept any offers because you don’t want to be disappointed. It’s like, “Oh, here’s this guy who barely knows me, being so sweet and offering to do all these nice things.” Then you ask yourself cynically, “Ok, what does he want.” Answer, “The only thing that he knows you have for sure.”
Since launching my blog in February, I have been so delighted to tell people that I am a sex blogger. And as I watch my growing subscribers and social media followers I am excited that people actually enjoy reading about the things that I write. Even though I only just launched in February, this blog has been years in the making.
Embracing my non-monogamous self has been a long road of heartache: lies, guilt, broken trust, and a seemingly endless amount of tears. It has been a battle within myself as well as outside of myself. Imagine in almost every relationship you’ve ever been in, constantly being told that you’re wrong, dishonest, a liar, a cheater, selfish, disloyal, or weird all because you desire to be with or love more than one person at a time. Imagine constantly being threatened that you have to choose only one or you’re going to end up alone. Welcome to my life.
For me, to be sexually empowered means owning all aspects of your sexuality, acknowledging the oneness of your mind, body, and spirit in every sexual encounter, and ALWAYS putting your desires and well-being first. Sexual empowerment means never avoiding the conversation. It means openly exploring desires without judgment. It means putting your health and your personal values first. It means embracing all the things that shape your sexuality.
There is relatively universal consensus that pregnancy and motherhood is a beautiful and blessed journey. For the most part, it is a common belief that “A child is a blessing from God.” That is how I’ve always heard it but you ever notice how pregnancy and motherhood is a huge source of cultural shame?
Long ago when matriarchy ruled as patriarchy does today, men competed for the affection, attention, and approval of women. Women were worshiped and the Goddess ruled the heavens. Women had reign to choose any man they desired to fulfill their most imaginative fantasies. The post physically and sexually capable of the bunch were always top choice.
I remember my mother telling me a story of her first experiences as a parent. So vividly, I recall the one where I was playing in the bath tub as a toddler when I discovered my vulva. According to my mother, I was intrigued. I poked, prodded, and pulled at it. I even invited her to come see the new treasure I had discovered.