Pinterest has been a huge asset in the launching of my sex blog as I researched the “how tos” of successful blogging for newbie bloggers. From generating post ideas and customizing my blog to information on being an affiliate and general ideas on how to grow online presence, Pinterest has been an invaluable resource to building my blog. Just check out my Building Brilliance Pinterest board to see for yourself.
I didn’t take very many photos at Houston Pride this year. I was so busy people watch, stopping for photo ops of my t-shirt that you can get at our TeeSpring shop, and trying to catch the beads being flung at me from parade floats. Please enjoy the ones that I did get a chance to get! Oh yeah, Pride was a blast once again. Enjoy this two minute slide video and Thank you, Houston!!!!
To love someone with HIV was the most painful experience in my life. You’d think I was the one who had been diagnosed.
But why, why was it such a painful experience? There have been so many medical advances when it comes to HIV and AIDS that such a diagnoses is no longer the death sentence it was once thought to be. Today, persons diagnosed with the virus can look forward to living long and prosperous lives. Am I right?
You couldn’t be more wrong. From a perspective of physical health, that is true, because of medical advances, some persons diagnosed with HIV can live healthy lives. We’ve even made advanced steps towards prevention with PrEP (coming soon in generic form). For others, this is not so. From a social perspective, an HIV diagnoses can absolutely become a death sentence; one of shame, of guilt, and of discrimination. The stigma of HIV is now more dangerous than the actual virus itself. Not just to physical health, but psychological well being most of all.
I am a cisgender bisexual black woman; a single-mother of two; a nonmonogamous relationship anarchist who loves to eat. Those things individually carry so much weight in the world of dating. You can’t imagine the calamity when you place them all into one scenario. It’s all good though, because I do enjoy being the wow factor however it is perceived.
From a cultural perspective, we know that there is power in a name. We name our offspring, we name our pets, we name our possessions. All the things that are important to us, we give them a name to signify this truth. We understand that a name can be a source of empowerment. A name gives a thing a personal identity transforming it from just a thing. Desiree is certainly much, much more than just a thing.
Not so long ago, I was very confused about my spirituality. I wasn’t sure what to believe in. I knew that I did not believe in Christianity, Buddhism, and all of the other high profile religions. I didn’t even realize that religion and spirituality, although related, were two different things. I was lost at so many depths. I had no spiritual practices, no rituals, no formed (or forming) beliefs. I’d stopped going to church because once again, I didn’t believe in any of it. I felt like I was mocking other people’s beliefs by pretending to believe. I lived inside my head a lot and wanted no part of the life I was living. In all parts, I felt stuck.
If I have learned nothing of my own experience and a huge part of Emily Nagoski’s message in Come as You Are: The Surprising New Science that Will Transform Your Sex Life, it’s that context is everything. What is context? Context is the circumstances that form the setting for an event, statement, or idea, and in terms of which it can be fully understood and assessed; it is the greatest determining factor between “this is wonderful” and “this is awful” especially when it comes to sex.
I was very good at giving head. My favorite part was teaching a guy about his own sexual anatomy. I’d firmly run my tongue along the soft spongy part underneath the shaft of the penis and ask if he knew what it was called. He didn’t and I was happy to educate him. I was so very careful about whom I allowed to put it in my mouth. Consistently, I chose the introvert yet handsome, passionate ones.
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